A few therapeutic narcotics that you used to be able to call your doctor, not your drug dealer T-Bone-Killa for.

A few therapeutic narcotics that you used to be able to call your doctor, not your drug dealer T-Bone-Killa for.

MDMA

Before its classification as a Schedule 1 drug in 1985, MDMA was used in psychotherapy and as a marital counseling drug due to its ability to “increase intimacy.” Let’s be honest though … boners happened. Today, however, we think it’s mainly used to make dubstep bearable.

Cocaine

Long before rock stars did lines off of boobs, cocaine was used cure everything from headaches to alcoholism to hay fevers due to its numbing, vasoconstrictive properties. …Oh, so is that what Rick James had? Hay fever?

Heroin

Heroin was doctors’ BFF in the early part of the century. They used it to mitigate pain for conditions including pneumonia, tuberculosis, migraines and literally every other painful thing you can imagine … until people found out it had a 25 percent addiction rate. #Whoops

Psilocybin

The active ingredient in ‘shrooms has been used to treat cluster headaches, depression, OCD, and alcohol and cigarette addiction, but that didn’t stop the government from banning it alongside LSD in the ’60s. Good thing you can still find them under any well-tended cow shit.

Ketamine

Who knew horse tranquilizers could be such a great treatment for depression? Well, apparently a lot of people before it was taken off of the market due to rampant use in the what Wikipedia calls the “rave culture.” It’s also known to repair neuronal connections in the brain that have been damaged by chronic stress … which is why we’ve been working on our horse impressions lately.