But … .. How will they gain momentum when they're running?

Well, the Broncos season is shaping up to be quite the excitement, now that they've signed so-and-so and reworked their blahblahblah. But perhaps the most exciting thing we have to look forward to for the 2015-16 season is … the new fart tax they've enforced.

Yep, the beloved football squad has taken the offensive not against a rival team, but against their own flatulence.

The tax procedure is simple. You blow the gaseous remains of your last meal out your anus during a meeting, you write a check. There is to be no farting … which leaves us with an aching question:

… How will they gain momentum when they're running?

Even more great is the fact that it seems the team's star linebacker, Von Miller, has been fined the most. And he was all too happy to talk about it:

Huh. We wonder what's going on in Von's butt. Could be the altitude. Could be the Peyton Manning munchie pizza. Could be the fact that he feels the locker room is a safe space to be himself and share with his brothers.

We guess there really is a lot of natural gas here.

Here's a talking head talking about this important, breaking news: