You were probably cooler in high school though. 

The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless that other side is Silicon Valley and, not only is the grass greener, but it contains a massage chair, golden toilets and endless supply of Kobe Crab.

Turns out, internships in Silicon Valley aren’t like the internships we used slave through back in the day where we actually lost money during the experience and developed an unhealthy obsession with McCormick’s raspberry vodka. Not these nubiles.

According to Bloomberg, the median monthly pay for an engineer-based intern at some of the big technology companies is $6,800. Yes, that’s $81,600 a year. The national wage index is $46,481.52, according to data last compiled by the Social Security Administration in 2014. So as you can see, interning in the Valley isn't a bad gig — minus living in your car. 

See, you chose the wrong major. And you’re adopted. Of the largest companies in Silicon Valley, Pinterest led the way with intern pay, offering a meager $9,000 a month for beginning interns. At the bottom of the list is Tesla, offering a barely-survivable $4,500 monthly pay.

You’d think with that type of salary interns would be able to pay for travel and accommodations when heading out West in search of Gold and high rents. But you’d be wrong. On top of the monthly pay, most of these companies offer to also pay for the intern’s lifestyle in Silicon Valley, making sure that housing and travel costs are all taken care of. What the fuck? No wonder San Francisco rent price increases are more dire than Twitter’s future.

Maybe we’re bitter. Or maybe the only benefits our job offers is lukewarm keg beer from the boss’s nephew’s bar mitzvah. Either way, as long as Silicon Valley keeps coming out with products that allow us to document and bask in the egomaniacal intricacies of our lives, and our friends’, we’ll stick with our lukewarm keg beer and McCormick’s vodka.