We've peaked. We have really peaked …

There are moments when civilizations peak, where their slow decline into disappearance from the face of the planet begins. The other side of the bell curve.

The Romans had Romulus. Full House brought on that weird guy who never knocks. Contemporary America now has Kanye West's recently penned poem about McDonald's French fries — the single greatest piece of written literature ever to be penned. Behind what I wrote in response, of course.

Titled, "The McDonald’s Man," West's new poem was release via Frank Ocean's new magazine Boys Don't Cry, a visual accompaniment to his highly anticipated album Blonde, sold at pop-up stores around the world.

Here goes Kanye's first:

The McDonald’s Man

McDonald's man / McDonald's man / The french fries had a plan / The french fries had a plan / The salad bar and the ketchup made a band / Cus the french fries had a plan / The french fries had a plan / McDonald's man / McDonald's / I know them french fries have a plan / I know them french fries have a plan / The cheeseburger and the shakes formed a band / To overthrow the french fries plan / I always knew them french fries was evil, man / Smelling all good and shit / I don't trust no food that smells that good man / I don't trust it / I just can't / McDonald's man / McDonald's man / McDonald's, damn / Them french fries look good tho / I knew the Diet Coke was jealous of the fries / I knew the McNuggets was jealous of the fries / Even the McRib was jealous of the fries / I could see it through his artificial meat eyes / And he only be there some of the time / Everybody was jealous of them french fries / Except for that one special guy / That smooth apple pie.

Which is fine, if you're a novice. Me? I'm a professional fry poet. A laureate, if you will:

Thigh Surprise

McDonald’s came / McDonald’s went / McDonald’s food, now rent is spent / It’s in those eyes / It’s in those thighs / The fat, it’s in McDonald’s fries / Breakfast dinner, what you say / It’s 8 o’clock alright, okay / It’s in those thighs / It’s in those thighs / Damn, it in those thighs those fries / What heart won’t cope / No wait, it choked / Because they extra-larged my coke / McDonald’s man / McDonald’s can / It hit those thighs / Those thighs with fries / Now it’s sleep, it ain’t a thing / Sticky cup holder ring / McDonald’s man / McDonald’s man / Damn those fries / It’s in the thighs / damn

The peak of civilization, we out here.