The first time I strolled away from the self-checkout lane with stolen loot, it was a total accident. The next hundred times were not.
I started this journey of grocery store kleptomania as many people do: as an innocent, upstanding citizen. Then one day, a sincere mistake with a defective self-checkout machine and a “kill me now, I hate my job” sales associate left me with a complimentary sirloin steak. That free meat made me hungrier for more.
Cheating self-checkout is a pretty guiltless misdeed for most shoppers. These aren’t the type of people stuffing fancy pastries in their pockets and shoving raw shrimp down their underpants.
They come into the store with the best intentions, and at the end of their shopping experience, disappointedly realize there are hardly any employees ringing up groceries. Instead, the shopper has to do all the work of the cashier, because the store wants to cut costs, and can’t be bothered to employ real people.
This shopper might think, “if you can’t afford to pay your cashiers, maybe I can’t afford to pay my groceries.”
Empowered by the rationalization of scamming a morally-corrupt corporation — along with the ease and the thrill of scoring some epic savings — I became a master of stealing from self-checkout. The techniques are simple enough, with risk of getting caught pretty minimal if all the right precautions are taken. Thankfully, automation makes shoplifting a pleasantly streamlined process.
THE OL’ SWITCHEROO
That stupid scale doesn’t know the difference between a pound of ground beef ($3.99/lb) and a pound of filet mignon ($21.99/lb). Put the steak on the scale, look up and enter the code for some cheaper variety, and proceed to ball on a budget.
For added badass points, try ringing up the most dirt-cheap item you can find. Premium beef looks nothing like bananas ($0.49/lb), but if the attendant isn’t paying attention, exploit their negligence and maximize your savings.
THE PASS-AROUND
Scan an item with the barcode facing up, or the barcode covered by your hand. Toss it into a bag on the floor or a bag in your cart. Alternatively, you can toss the item into the bag as you’re removing it from the scale.
No one wants to trigger that unpleasant “unexpected item” alert in the bagging area. If you do, rest assured that grocery store scales are obnoxiously over-sensitive, and will go haywire over the weight of a stray hair. Most employees know this, and will scan their card to override the alert without any intention of inspecting your bags.
THE COVER-UP
Leave the most expensive items — like the cheeses and meats for your fancy-as-fuck charcuterie board — on the very bottom of the cart, and use large items like a briefcase, a baby carrier or reusable bags to obscure the view of the bottom of the cart from above.
There’s no need to try any ring-up trickery if you simply pretend you didn’t see the covered items in your cart. If an associate points out an unscanned item, you’ve got plausible deniability, so just play dumb.
THE CUT AND RUN
Replacing employees with self-checkout lanes creates a legal complication for grocery stores — it’s a lot harder to prove shoplifting if they can’t prove intent. A scheme to steal is pretty obvious if you’re caught shoving crab legs down your panties, but if you “forget” to scan something, that unintentional theft isn’t a crime.
Expert self-checkout swipers often pay for the majority of their stuff, exclude top-dollar items and use the complicated technology to create doubt about their intentions. An innocent-looking cut and run is the key to a clean getaway.
[cover photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash]
Fuck yea!
I love this and though I am honest to a fault, I love these ideas. I hope I don’t “accidentally” put in the wrong code in the future! They’re not paying me, so I wouldn’t feel too bad about it. To be fair though, I have find that I’m a much better bagger than any grocery store person I’ve ever run across! Thanks – awesome article.
This is why consumers are pay in the long run. Prices go up for everyone and then when you a lying Thief gets charged with Point of sale fraud goes to jail , pays fine and ultimately it’s banned from the store When you finally get to come back guess what prices are up. I’ll you wanted to have that steak For free because you are a pile and you can’t be a productive member of society and pay taxes and earn your food for a living.
Prices go up because corporations are price-gouging capitalist pieces of shit. It has nothing to do with loss. Stop being an apologist for greedy corporations.
Exactly it’s literally greedflation and some people refuse to go without
Shoplifting is absolutely wrong, this I agree 💯 however, we (all consumers) are quite sick of the price inflation and shrinkflation of goods we need. Then we also don’t appreciate being untrained, unpaid employees to save companies money on labor while they make RECORD PROFIT as we do the job an employee should be doing. When a person could get the exact same items (in larger sizes might I add) just say 3-4 years ago for $150-170 for now $250-300 that leaves some people with no other choice, our basic needs didn’t change yet the sizes of the items and prices dramatically skyrocketed exactly what did you think would happen? Yeah some people will go without but some of them will find ways around the BS. I’m not saying it’s right but it’s also wrong for companies to price gouge customers and then have them do the job of the companies employees without training or compensation as well. I’m fortunate enough to not have been forced into that desperate position myself however I can understand and even empathize because I mean come on the same stuff that was once $150 ish is now $250-300 and in some cases smaller quantities. That is the actual crime. It’s profiteering, the average customer in America done nothing to cause outrageous inflation and shrinkflation yet they’re the ones faced with possibly having to watch their family go hungry or not have the hygiene items they need to freaking exist in a normal manner. Again the same things they once could afford with ease are now out of reach because of corporate greed (stores included) this economy or it’s corporate greedflation has forced normal, average, law abiding customers into shoplifting just to not let their loved ones down. Inflation is normal yes to a small degree but the spike in prices from 2021-2024 is far from normal it’s profiteering and that too is illegal. Literally everything has skyrocketed but wages have not kept up with the price hikes on literally everything they need to simply exist. Exactly what did they expect to happen? I will never shame someone for doing whatever they have to in order to feed their family. I’m not God and neither are you. Yes stealing is illegal but so is corporate profiteering and having unpaid employees. Fix the actual problem at hand and I can guarantee the shoplifting will go way down. Not all because there are people that do it for the thrill of it but the ones that were priced out of the market due to price gouging will stop. The person I know that does it feels tremendous shame but shame beats a malnourished poorly kept child because they can’t afford basic needs. All over corporate greed. Get a grip and stop being judgemental. All sins are viewed equally in God’s eyes and nothing goes unseen or unpunished by God.
EXACTLY. Well said. Sure, corporate greed is a big part of what is being written off as inflation right now, but theft is a huge reason for price increases as well and guess who always pays… yup, us.
lol you are just making stuff up
LOL!
I’ve felt so identified with you.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
While I’m not thrilled with grocery stores limiting the number of employees to save money or their overpriced items, there is no way I would resort to shoplifting. To me, the only justification is if you have no money by no fault of your own and you need to feed your children. It’s not the right way about feeding them, but sometimes people feel as though they have no other choice. I hate to say it, but I do hope you are caught, unless you are donating that food to the homeless.
[…] https://therooster.com/articles/master-art-stealing-self-checkout/ […]
Do not risk this. Shoplifting is a crime and if you get caught, the police will be called and you will be arrested, or at the very least given a court summons. You may get cuffed, get driven to the police station, get a mug shot, and get fingerprinted. The city attorney is obligated to press charges against you if the store wants to, and the store security stops you, they will press charges. You then have to get an attorney (very expensive) or try to go to court alone – and probably not know at all what you are doing to either plea bargain or stupidly ask for a trial, wasting everyone’s time.
The stores now have a lot of AI systems in placeto combat the exact types of self-checkout theft listed in the article, including cameras right above you. If you try to steal something this way, the AI immediately notifies store security with a code, and usually a couple of big guys then come to the checkout as the AI system also locks your scanner. This WILL happen with expensive items at big stores like Wal-Mart, Target, Home Depot, Lowes, etc. The grocery stores are also catching up with this because they are also being hit hard with theft due to price inflation (the inflation IS from their suppliers).
As in the article, if you try to enter in a produce code for bananas when you are buying a steak, your register will be locked, and it will be obvious from the video what you were doing. If you try to hide an expensive item under a bag, satchel or purse and a security person is monitoring the cameras, you will be stopped on the way out. If you try to put a non-scanned item in your cart or on bag on the floor, the camera will record it, and the AI will generate a security code. What, you think they haven’t caught on to all these methods in the article since self-checkout was invented years ago?
The security people in the stores have the right to try to (non-forcefully) block you from leaving, or just push a button that shuts the exit door; meanwhile the cops are just a couple of minutes away and you are standing there looking like a moron. If you try to push the security people away, now you’ve also got an assault charge. Or if you somehow get to your car, the security people will record your plate number with their phone, or they will just have the cameras in the parking lot record it as you drive off. When the cops arrive they have the power under law to “detain you” as they investigate, i.e. look at the video and talk to security. Or they now have a video of you stealing stuff, your car description and your plate number, so they can just arrest you anytime later (at home or work).
Theft under $100 is still a crime in most states, and you will have to go to court. Even if they give you a deferred judgment or deferred prosecution, that STILL goes on your criminal record and anyone, including future employers, co-workers, schools, people you are dating, etc. can now see that you are a stupid shoplifter. You may be denied certain licenses even just for a low-level crime like this. Do you really want to risk this to save a few dollars, since you think you are screwing “the man?”
Grocery stores operate on a TINY profit margin, and their suppliers are the ones raising the prices, since production costs of all food has gone up with inflation (blame the politicians and the Federal Reserve bank, not the store). Don’t be stupid and wreck your life with a dumb criminal record for “theft under $100”.
LOL good story and even better scare tactic. Are you working for Walmart?
If you think this is scare tactic you should read the article below about how a woman’s life was nearly ruined for possibly just mistaking to scan a couple items. There are several article like this. Don’t steal, and check your cart for unscanned items before leaving the self checkout area. Even if charges are dropped, the arrest record (and maybe mugshot) will still be on your easily-found online criminal record unless you pay a lawyer to get it expunged. There is no way for the store security to tell if you made a “mistake” rather than intended to steal. Walmart, Target, Home Depot, Lowe’s, Kroger/King Soopers have recently updated their security camera systems and AI at self checkout. You will get eventually get caught.
Daily Mail
“Olympian’s life is destroyed after she forgot to scan asparagus and ham at Walmart self-checkout”
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13882937/meaggan-pettipiece-former-olympian-softball-coach-self-checkout.html
This is even worse where I live where we’ve done away with plastic bags and you have to choose between a paper bag and a tote bag from home because they’ve had to turn off the scales in the bagging area due to there not being any other place to put the stacks of empty paper bags.
You are a terrible person.
And I mean that.
You are a boot licker, and I mean that.
[…] fact, a person describing themselves as a free swiper wrote a blog on how they had mastered the art of stealing from self-checkout lines. The “switcheroo,” the […]