An 84-year-old gardener from Sheffield, England, has a rather unique problem. He says drunks won't stop having sex with his bush — the plant kind, not, you know.

More than 30 years ago, Keith Tyssen began growing and clipping "Gloria" — a hedge out in front of his door named after a prostitute and shaped in the form of a Greek goddess. 

However, lately, he's been jarred awake from his sleep with the sounds of loaded hooligans humping his prized Gloria, sometimes clothed, sometimes not. 

"It makes me feel a bit sick really," Tyssen told the BBC of his lady. "That's just not the way to behave in lots of ways.

"I do not want them to behave like that with my privet lady. She's too privet."

[cover photo Ben McVay, SWNS]