It seems like every time I go to a show, I see more and more flow toys like Hoops or Poi, which is your favorite?

I can tell you which one is my LEAST favorite and its Flowstars. That’s right, those annoying rounded pieces of cloth that people spin over their heads at shows. And it’s not for the reason you might think. Is it because it selfishly takes up a lot of space from other people trying to enjoy the show? That is true, but no. Is it because they often go flying into other people, spilling their $17 Modelo tall boy? Nope. It is because I find it to be personally offensive to my culture. Much like the Native headresses worn by blonde white girls named Taylor, I feel like the flowstars make a mockery of the culture that I came from: An Italian-American from NY who grew up working in pizza places. To me, these wooks are cosplaying my identity without ever being a part of the culture. Have they ever had to fight a bunch of jabronis from up the street with a broom because they wouldn’t leave at closing? No. Have they ever gotten their chest hair yanked out by a cheap gold chain as they slap (yes, the art of throwing pizzas in the air is called slapping) a 26” monster over their head with such precision so it doesn’t touch the disgusting health hazard we call a ceiling? Of course not! Have they ever threatened their own cousin with a pizza peel for being a mooch, shouting, “Get outta here and get a job, ya bum… and tell your mother I said hello.”? Clearly, they haven’t. These jamokes simply latched onto the latest craze without ever learning about the culture that they were appropriating. I have burns up and down my fricken arms over here from pulling pizzas out of a 1000 degree pizza oven and have the scars and blood pressure medication to prove it. Anyway, I digress. I think poi is pretty cool. 

 

I feel like toxic social media culture is such a huge part of EDM music. How do you find balance? 

Well first off, stay out of the EDM Chicago group. Secondly, take a walk once a week. Leave your phone at home and just take a 40 minute walk around your neighborhood and just vibe the fuck out. Maybe get a little high with some weed from one of the weed places that buys ads in this magazine, smoke it, and just goooooo. Get some sun on your face, make fun of a squirrel, walk around a lake. But not the lake I walk around. I swear to god if you all start walking around that lake and it starts getting crowded I will lose my mind and probably drown myself in it. Then where will you walk? Probably not that haunted lake that someone died in. 

 

As a new dubstep producer, I’m concerned that being in a relationship might distract me from making music, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up.

Relationships do take up a lot of your free time so I understand your concern, but what you are forgetting is that in 2025 things like girlfriends, parents, children can be marketing tools! Nothing will cut through the social media algorithms like having a child. “Looks like I’ll have two big releases soon!” or something dumb like that. Need to boost those Instagram numbers? Why not propose to your girlfriend of 3 months on stage at a local riddim show? You need to stop looking at the different relationships in your life as people, and start looking at them as content. I make “New Song Reaction” videos by filming myself hiding in the backseat of my girlfriend’s car and popping out at a red light while she is on her way to work and screaming “WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW SONG I WROTE FOR YOU?!?!!” Sure, one time she floored it and rear ended a Cybertruck, but once I’m famous I’ll have plenty of money for repairs. The point I’m trying to make is: you should absolutely incorporate your girlfriend into your branding and there is nothing that could ever go wrong from it and it will never come back to bite you in the ass later. 

Got a question for the Colorado Legend himself? Send it to Tom@therooster.com along with a track request for your next wedding.