he video shocked the world and took over the news. At least two-thirds of the internet got so turned on people started pitching tents and slipping off their chairs all over America. The CEO of United Health Insurance is shown strolling down an early morning NYC sidewalk when a hooded figure steps from the shadows and guns him down in cold blood. Three bullet casings left at the scene read “Deny, Defend, Depose.” Then the hitman fled, escaping on an e-bike like a kid who just blew up a mailbox. 

But that’s just the tip of the weirdberg. After days on the lam and a huge headstart, the alleged culprit — a semi-unibrowed Italian upper-middle-class Ivy League valedictorian pretty boy named Luigi Mangione — was arrested at a McDonalds. Mangione was halfway through a hashbrown in another state when police arrived. He had numerous fake IDs and, curiously, still had the untraceable murder weapon on him. 

And we still haven’t gotten to the most sinister part of this outlandish story, folks. Because beyond the suspect, his murder victim, and all of the weird shit of the case, there is a precedent that the Powers That Be are trying to set, here. Mangione is being charged with first-degree murder in furtherance of terrorism. If convicted, that becomes the standard for anyone who takes violent action against the upper class. 

And you know what we do with terrorists in this country? The lucky ones get life in prison. The less fortunate might end up at Guantanamo or some other CIA black site. 

A geyser of conspiracy theories has erupted around this story so forcefully, you can’t poke your head into it without your face tearing off. Who is this strapping young Stanford Mad Lad who knocked off one of America’s scoundrel CEOs? What was his motive? … If he even did it. 

Strap in, strap on, assume the position and hold tight, ladies and gentlemen. We’re diving down the Luigi Mangione wormhole. 

The Victim

Before we get to the hunk you’re all here for, its obligatory and probably prudent to mention his victim. Brian Thompson, was a 50-year-old father, husband, and ex-CPA. He lived in Minnesota. People called him a “laid back CEO.” Under his leadership, United Health Insurance’s profits rose from $12 to $16 billion. He accomplished that by denying so many medical claims from his customers that he was actually investigated by Homeland Security and the US Senate in 2024. 

The Suspect

Luigi Mangione supposedly has an IQ of 130+. He was valedictorian of his private all-boys high school, studied mathematics, computer engineering, and artificial intelligence at Stanford and comes from a well-off, well-connected Maryland family. He had no criminal record. He loves McDonalds. He’s also shredded if you’ve seen photos. This dude had a lot going for him. So why would he go and throw it all away? 

Perhaps to make one of the most anti-establishment classist statements of all time. Or, maybe he didn’t do it at all… 

“An Insult to The American People”

Mangione has not been found guilty – yet. No one even really knows his “motive.” The police plastered the web with photos of him within hours of the assassination and told everyone he was The Guy. Then, he was arrested and dragged into custody screaming, “It’s completely out of touch and is an insult to the American people and their lived experience!” 

Mangione was charged with murder and terrorism and pleaded “Not Guilty” before a judge. Would a true vigilante who’s so zealous that he’d murder another person, deny their actions?

Weird Shit of The Case

When Mangione was arrested he still had the 3D printed, untraceable, 9 mm “ghost gun” in his backpack. He could have dismantled that and disposed of it. Yet this supposed, genius-level IQ criminal kept it on his person. 

Minutes after his arrest, Mangione’s YouTube account posted a video of a countdown timer, playing this cryptic message: “If you see this I’m already under arrest … The Truth … soon … Dec 11th … All is scheduled, be patient. Bye for now.”

The photo of Mangione released before he was caught shows him wearing a brown jacket with a grey hood and a black backpack. It also shows his distinctive unibrow. The assassin pictured in the footage is wearing a black hooded anorak, a grey pack, and importantly, has a clear gap between his eyebrows. 

Mangione’s backpack was allegedly found in Central Park after he fled the scene, stuffed with Monopoly money.

Witnesses said the assassin waited in his car almost all night. The photo police released of Mangione allegedly shows him that morning at a Starbucks. 

Mangione disappeared for months before this incident. His family and friends desperately tried to contact him to no avail. His whereabouts during that time are still unknown. 

Within hours of the assassination, we knew about Mangione’s education and upbringing; we had photos from his social media and of his perp walk. By contrast, we know almost nothing about Trump’s attempted assassin — or for that matter, the guy who tried to kill Biden. 

“Deny, Defend, Depose” is a pretty similar phrase to “Delay, Deny, Defend” — the title of a book about why insurance companies don’t pay claims and “what you can do about it.”

The McDonalds he was found at was 286 miles from the murder. 286 is one of United Health Insurance’s denial codes.

As he was escorted to his arraignment, Mangione was dressed exactly like Lee Harvey Oswald. 

Simultaneous to his arrest, the $LUIGI crypto coin exploded online and has maintained its value. 

The Theories

Mangione the Patsy — This could be a modern Lee Harvey Oswald situation, a Patsy picked to blame a psyop crime on. If he doesn’t make it court alive, it’ll be like history repeating itself. 

Saint Luigi The Hero — Maybe he is a true vigilante folk hero. Maybe he knew he could strike fear into the CEO class, make a political statement, and break the record for conjugal visits in prison, all in one fell swoop. 

The Manchurian Candidate — This stinks of MK-Ultra’s involvement. It’s possible Mangione was co-opted, even kidnapped during the time he was missing, and underwent “programming.” 

Framed By His Twin, Waluigi Mangione — It sounds insane but I’m not ruling anything out. 

A Publicity or Marketing Stunt — Some have theorized Mangione did all this to sell copies of Deny, Delay, Defend or to boost the crypto value of $LUIGI coin. 

A Master Plan — It’s possible Mangione was working with others, and took the fall so they could escape. Someone with this kind of intellect could be thinking multiple steps ahead of the rest of us. If this was some master plan, perhaps we’ve only seen it start to unfold.

Juan’s Word: A New Legal Precendent

Whether this was a staged assassination, real, or some kind of assassa-psyop, the outcome is the same: The 1% CEO class of America is terrified and they’re going to try and make an example out of Mangione. 

If he is convicted as a terrorist, that becomes the legal precedent and anyone who ever takes violent action against an upper-class individual will automatically get the most severe sentence possible — or they’ll just get black bagged and memory holed. It would effectively make any attack on someone like Thompson an extra-illegal crime. That seems like the real goal here. Whether this was a staged assassination or a real act of vigilante people’s justice, Brian Thompson was a sacrificial lamb, a means to an end. Now, the Powers That Be are going to do use his death to try and scare the rest of us out of ever lifting a finger against someone like him again.