So I have a massive crush on the dopest girl I met at a show. We talk all the time and I want to ask her out, but I’m nervous because I have never dated anyone before. Do you have any advice?  

Of course I do. After all, I am a DJ. So first of all, you are right to be nervous about asking out your crush as your first adventure into this toxic nightmare, which is modern dating. Not only do you not know what the fuck you are doing, but it’s also a potential dealbreaker for her to have to basically teach you the ropes, etc. Much like getting a puppy, you have no idea how big of a responsibility a girlfriend is, and how much work it takes to keep them happy. 

That’s why my advice to you is to date someone else. Chances are, if you ask out your biggest crush ever and she is your first girlfriend, you are going to blow it. Not just for the lack of experience, but your raw, untethered enthusiasm for your first girlfriend is sure to scare her away. Have you heard of love-bombing? Well, you are potentially going to “love-nuke” this poor person.
But if you date someone else, there are a number of benefits. Firstly, your insane love-monkey brain will be so obsessed with your crush that it will allow you to treat this other girl like the human being she is. It will probably be really chill and go really well. Also, it will allow you to learn the basic rules of dating. Chances are this relationship will probably go 10x better than if you just went and dated your crush because there is no pressure and you can simply be yourself. No one wants to date someone who is obsessed with them—well, a couple DJs did, and they are no longer with us…

This plan is basically a win win. Best case scenario: you end up falling madly in love with this new person and it goes great! Worst case scenario: it goes terribly and allows you some time to cool your jets with the crush while, at the same time, showing her that you are a part of the dating pool and putting yourself out there. Let me know how it goes! 

Some people say bass music is growing, and others say it’s dying out. Which is it? 

A lot of people are showing that across the board in music that ticket sales are down, and bass music is no different. We have all seen the blue dot theory posts showing how a bunch of mainstream touring acts are struggling to fill the arenas they used to fill quite easily. But is the scene really struggling? Fuck naw, son. Bass music is bigger than ever.

I base that on the number of touring artists pretty much doubling over the last couple of years and the streaming numbers are way up. While tickets are down for some artists, it’s not totally across the board. Experts are showing that kids these days are doing a thing I just made up called “brokemaxxing.” It’s where they don’t have any money, so they are being much more selective with which shows they are spending their hard earned T-Mobile paychecks on. 

What we are seeing is a collapse of the bass music middle class. There are a ton of new artists seeing a lot of success as they introduce their sounds to the industry, and at the same time the top artists like Subtronics, Levity, Wooli, Crankdat, and others are still selling out the biggest venues in the country. But there is this weird middle ground where artists have outgrown their brand newness, but haven’t reached an iconic status, and those are the artists that are struggling the most. 

We are seeing a collapse of the bass middle class. Kind of sounds like what’s happening in the US as well, right? Weird how that works. But you can’t take lower ticket sales across concerts as a whole as evidence of a declining genre. Because it’s not. 

Look around you, I hear construction workers blasting Levity from their company pickup trucks; they play Excision at Avalanche games, and for Pete’s sake, I hear Subtronics at Whole Foods. Bass music is alive and well in the hearts of people, just not in their wallets.