1stBank Center to Shut Down, Will Be Demolished in 2024
More like 1stStank Center, are we right?
The 1stBank Center will shut down and be demolished following a vote from the Broomfield City Council earlier this week.
According to an article from CBSNews, the city council intends to demolish the venue by next spring.
Personally, we think any venue with a piss-poor name like “1stBank Center” should be razed to the ground on a matter of principle.
Do you think the Romans would have made it as far as they did if they named their venues in such a shit manner? Would you go watch the chariot race or the lion fight at the “1stBank Coliseum?”
The 6,500-seat venue was opened back in 2010, and has featured big acts like Dead & Co, Billy Strings and even Selena Gomez.
However, if we’re being honest, we saw Billy at Red Rocks and Dead & Co at Folsom Field. The only events we’ve ever seen at the 1stBank Center were the circus and our little sister’s high school graduation.
Apparently, the city council voted to terminate its agreement with Peak Entertainment earlier in the week, stating that the operating and maintenance costs of the center are too high.
The center needed $5 million worth of repairs, including a new roof and a heating system. Allegedly, the new roof was needed after the last Billy Strings concert because he brought the fucking house down. Who knew?
Look, we’re no economists here, but the venue’s website even says that it only sells two drinks per patron per purchase, and we can’t help but feel like that little rule is what got them into this operating cost fiasco in the first place.
Everyone knows that the book of Genesis states that God gave us fingers so that we could hold more than two beers at any given time.
Now that we think about it, we couldn’t even buy alcohol at that aformentioned highschool graduation, and all we’re trying to say is that maybe this place would still be in business if they would have poured us four Heinekens last spring like we asked.
“Council members said that the future of the site has not been determined and that development depends on what the market can bear,” reads the article, which is stellar, because as much as affordable housing is a crisis in the Denver Metro Area right now, we’re really holding out for a paintball field or a go-kart track.