2021 seems pretty messed up already. Any tips on how to get through this year? 

2021 seems pretty messed up already. Any tips on how to get through this year? 

CultureFebruary 01, 2021

2021 seems pretty messed up already. Any tips on how to get through this year? 
Start a cult! It seems to be the “It” thing right now! Instant friends! Recruitment is easier than you’d think. I watched a cult documentary and all these dudes were going to castrate each other. All you have to do is NOT do that.  That can be the pitch on your fliers. “Join us! We don’t do the cut your balls off thing!” Later when you all lose your minds, you can do the ball thing if you want. That’s the beauty of it. It’s your cult! 
 

Where’s the worst smelling place you’ve ever been?  
Easily, a port-o-potty at Burning Man. 70,000 people, It was a 108 degrees everyday. It was like being trapped inside a baked potato of poo. It was AWFUL...I could barely finish my nachos in there. 

 
What’s the craziest thing a boss has ever asked you to do?
When I was 16 I worked in the kitchen at a restaurant/comedy club. My boss had a DUI so he would have me drive him around Detroit until he could buy a bag of weed, then take him to the horse racing track where he would get hammered and bet on the ponies. It was a great crash course into how most of the comedy business actually works.
 
Are there any apps on your phone that you can’t live without? 
It would be incredibly unhealthy to think I couldn’t “live” without apps. I do enjoy using Twitter a lot. I mean, doesn’t everybody? Everyone has a Twitter account, right? Right? 
 
I’m thinking of buying a tent. Any advice on what kind I should buy?
Yes, buy one with enough height you can stand up in. Few things are worse than hunching over in the dark after 20 beers trying take your pants off at the end of the night. Save yourself from a head injury and spend the money. You’ll thank me later.
 
I don’t know how to cook. Any suggestions on where to begin?
Get a crock pot. Throw a bunch of junk into it with a can of coup for a few hours then cover it with hot sauce. It’s an idiot proof way to become a culinary master mind. I do this and put my concoction on toast. I call it “shit-on-a-shingle. Bon appetit!
 
Mike knows best:
“Pretty close call over here! Almost mistook my day time sweatpants for my nighttime sweatpants. Near miss  but thanks to the power of a chili stain, we’re back on track!”