God, the Internet is a terrifying place.
So if you've never been on the Internet before, it's basically a deep dark pit filled with every single sexual varation imaginable. No matter what you can dream up, hundreds of people have turned it into a bizarre sexual fetish/lifestyle.
Case in point: furries.
If you think that it's just a few folks dressing up at furry cartoon characters, you'd be partially right. There's a whole sub-universe within called "yiffing" which has to do with the sexual side of things (of course there is, Internet). And a big chunk of people get their fuzzy rocks off, as 33% of furry respondents answered that they have a "significant sexual interest in furry" and another 46% stated they have a "minor sexual interest in furry."
So now that you're all caught up, Tony the Tiger is apparently the Brad Pitt of the furry world:
And now that we think about it, that makes sense. For a cartoon, he's a pretty good-looking guy.
So of course, since everyone is a pervert on the Internet, the more vocal of the community would try to reach out to Tony via Twitter and hit on him. Here are just a few of the less savory tweets:
But the marketing team over at Kellogg's said, "This shit is getting a little too weird," and decided to block every furry they could find — even people who hadn't contacted Tony with sexual advances.
It's like Brad Pitt blocking you before you ever had the chance. Not fair, right?
So when furries decided to flirt with Chester Cheetah, basically the Kevin Bacon of the furry world, they got a different response:
You can imagine the boardroom meeting at the Cheetos corporation:
"So all these furries keep wanting to fuck our imaginary mascot. What should we do?"
"We'll Tony the Tiger ran into that, but he's a big prude. Let's give them what they want. Let's fire back."
So thank you, PR team at Cheetos, for letting furries all over the world think they have a chance to bone you — or for having no idea what's going on. Either way, it's hilarious.
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