Have you ever called the police in Denver only to have them show up four hours after the incident occurred, act highly suspicious of you and your dog, and then leave you a business card before proceeding to never address the incident again? Well, that clusterfuck of a process is about to get even more clusterfuck-ier as multiple law enforcement agencies plan to dispatch drones to 911 calls instead of actual police.

Indeed, the only thing that would worsen our schizoaffective mental break brought on by stimulant-induced psychosis and rampant meth use, besides the actual police, is undoubtedly  the flying robot police. That just sounds scary.

“This really is the future of law enforcement at some point, whether we like it or not,” said Sgt. Jeremiah Gates, who leads the drone unit at the Arapahoe County Sheriff’s Office.

We feel as though Sgt. Gates is inherently biased in this quote. Leading a drone unit and citing it as the future of law enforcement would be like smoking weed on the couch, regurgitating absurd articles into a magazine column, throwing in a few poop jokes, and then calling it the future of journalism.