Do you like watching basketball bad basketball? Do you enjoy laughter? Do you love supporting a good cause? If you answered yes to these three questions, then boy do I have good news for you.

Comedians Cross Up Cancer will take place on July 21st at 2 PM at The Basketball Social House in Centennial. The players? Comedians. The commentators? Comedians. The halftime show? Taylor Swift*. And all ticket proceeds go to St. Jude Children’s Hospital.

This event, which is organized by local comedians Sammy Anzer and Elliot Broder and sponsored by Ephemeral Rotating Taproom, Subjective Coffee, and Ultra Flat Black Gallery, has been described as the worst basketball game you’ve ever paid to see… and that person watched the 14-win Detroit Pistons play last year.

By purchasing a ticket, you’ll get to watch stand-up comics with no business being on the basketball court playing basketball, all-the-while being roasted live by the play-by-play commentators. This game will leave you feeling good about yourself… not only because you supported a good cause, but because unlike when you go to Ball Arena, you’ll leave here knowing you could have competed on the court.

The 2023 tournament winners

In addition to basketball play that would make 2002 Nuggets draft bust Nikoloz Tskitishvili feel like a superstar, there will be shootout prizes, a half-time show, tomfoolery, food and drink, and as previously mentioned, ALL ticket proceeds go to St. Jude Children’s Hospital. Because of donations like these, no family of a patient at St. Jude receives a bill for treatment or travel, and childhood cancer survival rates have increased from 20% to 80% in the past 50 years.

The event raised $1,000 last year and we’d like YOUR help to eclipse that figure here in our third year. Click HERE for a ticket to attend what’s proclaimed in the media (by me) as the best charity focused basketball tournament held in a suburb of Denver. If you don’t have a car, can’t make it that day, or just hate going to Centennial for some weird reason, you can still donate at the same link: just buy the quantity of tickets amounting to your desired donation amount, and don’t worry, you won’t take any seats away from the REAL basketball fans.

* Taylor Swift will not be at the halftime show. Does this mean she hates charity and children? Who’s to say.

Nick Ellis is a Denver based standup comedian and writer. Follow on instagram at @ellisnd so we can be friends.