Daily Viral: New York’s subways now protected against non-mask wearers by chucky midget
He may not be the hero we need, but he's the one we deserve...
These days, when a person isn’t wearing a mask in a confined public space, it can make things uncomfortable for everyone. At this point in the game, to not wear a mask is to make a social statement: fuck your courtesies, and fuck you.
It’s like letting your dog shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. Or like farting in a packed movie theater. You can’t be arrested for it — but it certainly breaks a social contract. It’s not cool and you aren’t making any friends by making such a stink.
Chances are you’ve seen some sort of public confrontation over masks, by now: in grocery stores, ski lift lines or on public transportation. But more often than not, when someone is defying the unwritten “rule of mask” in these COVID times, there’s no one there to call them on their bullshit. They amble along, letting the annoyed glares of others roll off them like water off a duck’s back — and when no one says anything to them, they walk off, feeling validated.
Leaving everyone in the vicinity, wishing the same thing: if only there was a midget dressed up like a killer ventriloquist doll, here to shame-scare these motherfuckers into compliance…
Well, in New York City, there is. A video recently surfaced, of a fun-sized vigilante doing The Good Work on a city subway. In the clip, a mask-less woman is standing in the busy train car, screaming in terror, as our terrifying hero grasps at her legs, clawing at her like something out of a horror film.
It’s an unsettling scene. And one that brings us a lot of satisfaction here at Rooster. We need more people like this dude, who are willing to put it all on the line to protect the health and safety of his fellow commuters. Every bus, every subway, train, plane and rideshare should have one.
Because, really, who would willingly bring this kind of nightmare on themselves?