At Rooster, we're big fans of recessions. They clean out the crap businesses, expose the scams and allow the most random, masochistic businesses an attempt at success. In Detroit, entrepreneur and convicted counterfeiter, Adam Thick is taking the thrill and utter fucking fear of an abduction, bundling it and selling it to anyone who's life isn't hectic enough. For anywhere from a few hundred bucks to a thousand bucks depending on which kidnapping package your cajones can handle, Extreme Kidnapping will kidnap, handcuff, duct tape, slap and zap you with a taser gun simulating the experience you never want to experience. 

We find a few things intriguing about this story: one, it's in Detroit. Of all the cities, they choose the city with the highest crime rate in the United States. And two, what if the person being kidnapped actually gets kidnapped and thinks this is a paid-for kidnapping? It would suck to laugh when being shook down and then shot for laughing. For a few thousand bucks, we'll stick to the old-fashioned escorts.