The head of the DEA recently testified that getting illegal drugs in America was as easy as using Uber Eats, once again confirming our suspicions that between streaming services, pizza, and drug deliveries, we never need to leave our house again.

DEA Administrator Anne Milgram expressed to congress last month that advances in modern day technology have made it easier than ever to acquire illicit substances.

Indeed, what was a very grim statement from the DEA was the best news we heard all year, and we’ll be honest with you: we spent the entire afternoon trying to DoorDash ketamine to our office.

Unfortunately, we’re going to call bullshit on this one. If getting crack cocaine was really as easy as the DEA says it is, well, we would’ve gotten this article to our editor on time.