It was around one in the morning when a group of 30 gunmen burst into the private residence of the President of Haiti, Jovenel Moise. They announced themselves as American DEA agents and were described as being both “highly trained and heavily armed” and spoke in both “Spanish and English.” Somehow these attackers penetrated Moise’s security detail, broke into his house (which, notably, contains a safe room) and shot the president more than a dozen times.

He died on the spot. His wife was critically injured. And the assassins escaped into the night.

However, despite executing an extremely sophisticated assassination, the group of perpetrators apparently hadn’t planned any kind of getaway. Most of them were easily apprehended. Some were caught or killed by police, and a few were even found by civilians, hiding in bushes just several blocks away. 

As of now 26 suspects have been detained — three of whom are Haitian-Americans (one of whom used to be a DEA informant), while the rest are Colombian mercenary soldiers. All of the assassins are between the ages of 35 and 55 and no motive has yet been disclosed. Moise’s political opponents have vehemently disparaged and condemned the attack, while the Columbian president has ordered the high command of their army to cooperate fully in Haiti’s ongoing investigation.

So what the hell happened here? Who were these men, what was their motive for so brazenly assassinating a world leader? And why does it stink so badly of a foreign (CIA?) hitjob?

If you dig deep enough into conspiracy threads on Reddit or 4Chan you’ll find no shortage of speculative theories. Foremost among them has to do with (you guessed it) vaccines. Because, just a month ago, Moise turned away a shipment of AstraZeneca vaccines, citing concerns over potential health risks, like blood clotting. The refusal of these vaccines made international headlines, because as Bloomberg pointed out: Haiti is the only western country that has yet to vaccinate a single person — and yet, their COVID fatality rates are notably low.

It’s an interesting theory, to be sure, but as far as explaining the motive of this assassination it falls short. Because, in reality, Haiti actually turned around and accepted those vaccines days after they denied them. They changed their minds and they’re now awaiting their shipment. (And anyway, a lot of European countries have refused to use Astra-Zeneca’s vaccine for the same reasons — and you don’t see Columbian mercenaries murdering their presidents.)

The vaccine theory might appeal to a lot of Americans with vaccine suspicions, but it’s a stretch in this author's opinon. It’s simply full of too many holes to make sense and requires some mental gymnastics to really convince yourself of. So what else could have led to the violent death of Jovenel Moise?

The narrative that you’ll hear from Mainstream Media sources will have to do with gang violence, rising crime rates, Haitian favelas, and recent protests against Moise. They’ll blame a country riddled with poverty, and write Moise’s death off as a tragic consequence of a nation mis-managed.

But no one has taken credit for his assassination yet. No terrorist group, extremist political faction, gang, or opponent of Moise’s has been linked to this murder, let alone claimed responsibility for it. In fact, every single suspect — from political opponents to the Columbian government — are all condemning the assassination and placing their full support behind Haiti’s now-ongoing investigation.

As of Monday, however, officials came forward claiming to have new details about the supposed mastermind of all of this: a failed Florida businessman and pastor by the name of Christian Emmanuel Sanon. A person who is unknown to anyone in Haitian political circles, according to the AP, but who apparently once expressed an interest in running Haiti’s government in a Youtube video.

Which smells really, really funny. One could even say, it stinks. Even the AP’s sources claimed that Sanon is a “patsy in the assassination” and that he wouldn’t have participated if he’d believed Moise would be killed. One Pastor who worked with him setting up churches and medical clinics in Haiti is quoted saying, “I know the character of the man. You take a man like that and you’re then going to say he participated in a brutal crime of murder, knowing that being associated with that would send him to the pits of hell? … If there was one man who would be willing to stand in the breach to help his country, it would be Christian.”

Something about this assassination feels off kilter, and out of alignment: Why were only three of the assassins Haitian (and Haitian-Americans, at that)? How come these 35-55 year old men were all so “highly trained and well-armed”? How did they get through the president’s security detail? And why were some of them so easily apprehended afterwards?

There are a lot of unanswered and particularly suspicious questions about this developing situation in Haiti. To a cynical eye, it looks an awful lot like some of the CIA regime change operations they've become famous for. Since 1949 they’ve had their hands in at least 13 government coups (that we know of) in almost every corner of the world. Most recently they made headlines for the attempted-but botched coup in Venezuela that became known as the “Stupid Bay of Pigs.”

We wouldn’t say this was irrefutably one of those CIA coups — that would be journalistically irresponsible without hard evidence — we’re just saying it just looks, walks and talks an awful lot like one.