Last month, the United States lost a real one. He was the kind of homegrown politician that’s rare these days — a warhawk on a level with Dick Cheney, and a dick on a level with, well, Dick Cheney. And goddamn, did he have a fantastic Southern accent.
Senator Lindsey Graham died on July 11 of a “sudden and unexpected illness” (whatever that means). He had no wife or children, so the only person who might have mourned his passing was his sister Darline. His handlers in the military-industrial complex probably frowned at the news and continued counting their money. The rest of the world, however, either didn’t give a shit or took comfort in the fact that they’d never have to see that closet case warmonger ever again.
I find myself in the latter category. But something is undeniably fishy about Graham’s death. The day before he died, the South Carolina Senator was touring a drone manufacturing factory in Ukraine, posting photos looking healthy as a horse, and happier than a pig in shit, surrounded by instruments of war fully funded by the American taxpayer.
That by itself seems strange, but it’s not evidence of anything. 71-year-olds die suddenly all the time. However, there are other, even more questionable details surrounding Graham’s untimely death that suggest treachery, cover-up, and — you guessed it — conspiracy.
But First, Graham’s Little LadyBugs
We can’t talk about Lindsey Graham without talking about his alias or his “little ladybugs.”
Let’s start with the alias. If you didn’t know Graham and heard him talk, you might assume that the senator was gay. You would have been wrong. Or would you have?
While Graham staunchly opposed gay marriage and LGBTQ rights, he also came off a certain way (read: gayer than a double rainbow in June). His supporters claimed that was just his gentlemanly South Carolina charisma. However, rumors persisted and eventually exploded…
In 2020, male sex workers came forward alleging that they knew the good senator from South Carolina personally. They claimed that, among their circles, he was known as “Lady G.” They said he was known for hiring high-end male escorts in Washington, D.C. to plow the living shit out of him in hotel rooms across our nation’s capital.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with that. Unless you’re a politician who consistently votes against gay rights, and talks down about LGBTQ individuals. In that case, there’s something seriously, mentally, fucked up wrong with it.
And the ladybugs? According to the escorts, Graham had a constellation of tiny moles around his anus, which he affectionately called his “little ladybugs”…
Do with that information what you will.
Back To His Sudden Death…
It goes like this: Graham traveled over 24 hours to briefly visit President Zelensky and tour a drone factory in Ukraine. He touched down, had his meeting, visited the facility, and then packed up and left less than 12 hours later. That’s a lot of travel time for a quick photo op.
After arriving home, something happened, and Lady G supposedly dropped dead around 8:30 p.m. in his South Carolina home. The official statement says it was a “sudden and unexpected illness” and the autopsy (which came out faster than you can say “little ladybugs”) confirmed it was an “aortic dissection.”
But the timing? It’s hard to believe.
The Theory
The speed with which Graham’s autopsy came back raised suspicion off the bat. It was clearly a hasty attempt to get ahead of the story and cement a narrative — but people were already catching whiffs of something stinky.
In the hours that followed his death, sources claimed that the drone facility Graham had been visiting was coincidentally destroyed in a Russian missile strike right after he left. Some have disputed that claim. However, early reports from the Kremlin supported the news, leading many to believe that these weren’t unrelated events, that Graham didn’t die of an aortic tear, and was instead accidentally blown up in a military attack — an act of war.
Why cover that up and sweep Graham’s death under the rug? Quite simply, to avoid World War III. If it came out that Russia was directly responsible for killing an American Senator (even accidentally), it would necessitate military action. Trump (who hated Lady G) would be forced to go to war with his ol’ pal Putin. And while Trump’s bosses clearly want Europe to go to war with Russia, they’re working hard to make sure our resources are focused on a different war…