CBC News recently intercepted an internal bulletin sent out to all Air Canada pilots, warning that they kind of need to stop leaving porn in the cockpits of their planes if they want to keep their jobs. Yeah, you read that right.

CBC News recently intercepted an internal bulletin sent out to all Air Canada pilots, warning that they kind of need to stop leaving porn in the cockpits of their planes if they want to keep their jobs. Yeah, you read that right.

The warning comes in lieu of an earlier incident in which "suggestive images" were found hidden in the cockpits of several Air Canada planes. Wait, so this has happened more than once? Real mature, guys!

“I am disappointed to have to raise this issue once again but unfortunately we have some people that have yet to understand the message,” wrote Rod Graham, Air Canada’s chief pilot and director of fleet operations and training int he memo. He's not mad … just disappointed.

No one knows just yet who it is that's been stowing porn in Air Canada's cockpits … but it might be a repeat offense. Six years ago, a female Air Canada pilot filed a complaint after she discovered porn tucked away and glued (with glue, we hope) to several areas within the flight deck. 

Air Canada investigated and turned up “evidence of racial or ethnic prejudice as well as sexual materials in the work place,” according to documents obtained by CBC News. So that makes three times this has happened on Air Canada planes, home to the kinkiest pilots in all the land.

However, although they're not sure exactly who it is, they do know where it's being done. In fact, the porn stashes are almost exclusively confined to Air Canada jets with scheduled routes in and out of Las Vegas. That would explain the obscene amount of "inappropriate business cards," investigators found hidden around the plane, which made up the vast majority of suggestive imagery their inquest turned up. Apparently what happens in Vegas … gets glued to the insides of airplanes.

“The fact that porn IS still present and … very much on the minds of the individuals that fly the EMJ [Embraer planes], should ring alarm bells for your department as much as it does for me,” that same female pilot who found porn everywhere six years wrote in an email dated August 3, 2013.

Porn is on the minds of airline pilots. Not keeping you from falling out of the sky and dying a horrific, violent death. Porn.

We  mean, it's not their pilot's fault that airplanes look like giant dicks going into the massive vagina that is the sky, but c'mon you guys. You could at least wait to jerk it until you're not hurtling through the atmosphere at 500 mph with the lives of 200 innocent people in your hands. Put lives in your hands guys, not dicks.

But despite the obvious danger that presents itself in this situation, Transport Canada told CBC News that Air Canada did not violate aviation safety protocols. There is currently no measure “regulating reading material in the flight deck," and so the only law that was actually broken is the unspoken one about how you don't glue fucking porn to the inside of a cockpit if you're over the age of 12.

If these pilots can't stop getting horny at high altitude, they're gonna have to start wearing one of these: