There's hardly anything more anecdotally satisfying than drinking beer and hanging out with some of the world’s most majestic creatures this millennia of evolution has ever created.

There isn’t any shortage in our repertoire of stories to be told ‘round the fire, smoking the kindest of kinds and throwing back the craftiest of brews. In fact, if we just stopped living right now we’d bet that we could still annoy the future-pants off of every lazy youngin’ who we’re sure will never stay off of our future self’s lawn. Those rat-rascals won’t know what’s coming for them, and they certainly don’t want a piece of this eternal fist of knowledge!

Sorry where were we? Brew at the Zoo stories, of course. So there you have it; if our repertoire were to end today, we’d assuredly put in the place of ‘back when I was your age’ tales with a few that we experienced while we ate, drank and people watched the night away at the 17th Annual Brew at the Zoo, held where else, but at the Denver Zoo.

There's hardly anything more anecdotally satisfying than drinking beer and hanging out with some of the world’s most majestic creatures this millennia of evolution has ever created. From the adorable talent of the zoo’s Asian elephants to the surreal gravity-defying height of the reticulated giraffes, the event was nothing short of captivating. It charmed the little pants off of us, and we wanted to tell the world all about it:

Safety first, set your drink down before riding the carousel

There’s nothing that could go better, or possibly worse, than a few dozen drunk adults on a child’s carousel. We were waiting for the train wreck that was sure to happen, but alas, we were dealing with the responsible kinds of drinkers. Even though it was still early, which may or may not have had a dynamic in their well presented behavior, there was so much more to do, so waiting for an inevitable face-plant was taking far too long, and we had more to imbibe on. If anyone happened to experience a fabled shit-eating, let us know, we’d love to hear about it!

Awww, we miss Bodi, we love Bodi

Walking around with a full tank of go-juice in the zoo is one thing, being able to experience the animals like never before is a whole other. Trouncing around the venue was fun, but wandering into the elephant housing areas and being able to see a silly show is unbeatable. While we were marveling at the sheer beauty of the beasts and wondering aloud how crazy it would be to be trampled by one of those in the wild, Bodi (a 6 year old Asian elephant) and his trainer gave spectators an entertaining performance. You’re on fire, bucket list!

Costumes for days!

Denver loves to get dressed up and drink. It’s really become astronomically trendy in the past half-decade or so, and of course there were going to be followers of it at an event like this. Raccoons, a guy on an ostrich, elephant ears and half a dozen squirrels were in attendance and we’d be lying if we said we weren’t at all jealous. Because we were, and the only reason why we scoffed a few twisted eye rolls their way was because our own self-reliance on attention was being squandered. Next year, there’s always next year.

Silence is golden, even at the discothèque

The silent disco is always a crowd favorite and the one in the midst of the Brew at the Zoo was no exception. The wildly lit-up floor was teeming with complacent adults getting all “woohoo-n-shit” to the soothing sounds of Eminem, Beyoncé and probably a Will Smith family member or two. But the true brilliance of the station was with the rebellious detractors that walked around the entire event with the rentable headphones. “I just sang an entire JayZ verse to a drunk giraffe,” one tipsy reveler yelled with the headphoens still on, “Mom I’m living!”

No lights, no lights in the port-o-potties

Knocking back a few dozen ounces of dad’s rumination serum is bound to get anyone to blow a gasket at least once in the evening, and trying to find an actual bathroom in the dim of the night was fruitless. The event provided many other options though, presumably to keep wobblers away from any and all tempting bushes. The lighting on the pee-pee-troughs however was minimal, at best, and it became plenty difficult to do much of anything in the faint glow. It may have worked to our benefit seeing as how many of us would rather not look at anything in the abode during a trip to the portable toilets.

And now, our one-word reviews of all the beers we threw down our breath pipe:

Shock Top Banana Wheat (Delicious.), Wynkoop Mile High Malt (Standard.), Paramount Pale Ale (Airy.), Oskar Blues G’Knight Imperial Red (Whoawhoawhoa.), Kokopelli Cow Tipper Milk Stout (Superb.), Ft. Collins Red Banshee (Gulpalicious.), Hall Brewing Black Lager (Interesting.), Wicked Hard Lemon Love (Yikes.), Tommyknocker Maple Nut (Wintery-ee.), Dad & Dude’s Leaves of Lemongrass (Dreamy.), Dad & Dude’s Ron Burgundy (YES.), Station 26 Oat Brown Porter (Favorable.), West Flanders Saison Locale #3 (Choice.), Avery Reverend (Heavenly.), Crazy Mountain Black IPA (Darklicious.), Ska Brewing Modus Hoperandi (Nectarous.), Left Hand Polestar Pilsner (Who’sdriving?).