Last month the Mexican Congress held its own hearing on the issue of UFOs. And boy, oh boy did they deliver. In the American hearing, the answer to almost every other question was, “I can’t answer that for national security reasons,” or “I could answer that in a private SCIF (Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility) meeting.” 

The most interesting thing to come out of those hearings was venerated military veteran and whistleblower David Grusch speaking under oath about the US government’s recovered UFOs and the secret reverse engineering program they’re running to understand them. He even went so far as to claim our government is in possession of “non-human intelligence biologics” recovered from these craft. 

That’s a pretty bat-shit crazy thing to hear our congress discussing seriously in Washington.

If you thought that was exciting, though, it was a sparkler compared to the fireworks show the Mexicans were about to put on. Not only did they release more military videos of strange inexplicable craft and encounters in Mexican airspace (not dissimilar to the leaked US videos from 2017). But at one point Mexican journalist, Jaime Maussan, got up with several crate sized boxes opening them to reveal what appeared to be actual mummified alien bodies discovered in Nazca, Peru. (Yes, that Nazca.)

The resulting shockwave Mexico’s congressional hearing caused sent the internet spiraling into madness, triggered an uproar among scientists, journalists, and skeptics, and made UFO freaks everywhere cream their pants. In the weeks that followed, debunkers have debunked, believers have defended, scientists have debated, and still, no one seems to have gotten to the real nut of this strange development. Which, no doubt, is why you picked up this magazine, dear reader. Because, when such a mystery is afoot you know the only place you’re going to find real answers is within the folds of this investigative conspiracy column of the esteemed Rooster Magazine. 

So, grab the nearest tin-foil hat and jam it on your head. We’re diving in.

Are These Mummies Real Alien Corpses?

First of all, don’t just call them “mummies.” They have names: Maria, Josephina and Alberto. And here are the known facts about the strange trio: 1) They were discovered in Nazca, Peru, home to the Nazca Lines, in a sealed underground “container.” 2) One of the Nazca images looks eerily similar to these mummified aliens. 3) They have been radiocarbon dated to around 1,000 years ago. 4) They are made of biological materials that have been DNA tested by multiple scientists. And according to the results, they contain 37% human DNA…

Are They Forgeries?

Google search “Mexico’s Nazca aliens” and you’ll see a lot of headlines like, “No, This Is Not an Alien. Here’s Why” and “Scientists Call Fraud on Supposed Extraterrestrials.” And if you’ve followed this mystery on subreddits like r/aliens and r/ufos you’ve probably seen biologists and DNA experts debunking the DNA tests, X-rays and CAT scans of these aliens that Mexican scientists provided. They assert that the 37% human DNA doesn’t refer to a percentage of DNA in a DNA strand, but rather, 37% of the materials used to make these things came from human beings — bones, skin, cartilage, etc. 

You’ll also find a lot of articles about the man who brought these bodies to Mexico’s Congress. Jaime Maussan has a reputation for pushing alien hoaxes in the media. He’s a TV personality and ufologist and he’s presented alien mummies before. One of which turned out to be an actual mummified child, and another that turned out to be a skinned monkey. 

But even if these are fakes, made from animal and human bones, the question remains: Does it really matter whether they’re actual alien corpses? Because even if they aren’t, they’re still ~1,000 years old. 

Does It Matter?

In a bizarre twist of events, Peru has launched a criminal investigation into the mummified remains revealed by Maussan at the Mexican UFO hearing. Which speaks to the most important aspect of this whole mystery.

Maussan found Maria, Josephina and Alberto in an ancient tomb in Nazca, Peru. Then he took them home to Mexico where they’ve remained ever since. And while the DNA tests might arguably debunk these mummies’ extraterrestrial authenticity, the radiocarbon dating doesn’t lie: These things are ~1,000 years old. If the Nazcans created these, they did so with painstaking attention to detail, adding rib cages, gesticulating eggs, and skeletal joints revealed only by modern X-rays. Then they buried them in a ritualistic tomb and sealed it beneath the Nazca lines. 

If these are recreations, what were those people making them after? Why were Maria, Josephina and Alberto crafted to the level of minute anatomical detail that they were? And why were they sealed up in a tomb like actual mummified corpses?

Regardless of whether these things are authentically from another planet, solar system or universe, they were clearly very important idols to our ancient ancestors.