That's right, little granny decided that for her birthday she'd like a hunky male stripper with a side of banana. And she got one. 

That's right, little granny decided that for her birthday she'd like a hunky male stripper with a side of banana. Doris Deahardie originally wanted a helicopter ride for her birthday but her daughter-in-law changed the plans when dirty Doris asked that the pilot of the helicopter strip during the ride. Sorry, Doris, the FAA probably isn't cool with stripper pilots unless you're on a plane to South Padre for spring break 2014. And if you can keep ticking another few months, you too can go to spring break. 

With baby oil in hand, dirty Doris jumped into the stripper ring like a 100-year-old lady who hasn't had sex since she was probably 75, even requesting the "full monty" as her dance of choice. At one point, Doris was so engaged that she didn't even realize that she had whipped cream on her face from when the stripper straddled her to LMFAO's "Sexy and You Know It." We'll give you a moment to imagine that image. 

But with all of the health hazards, banana hammocks and dirty diapers, we give it up to Doris for wanting to get one last ride in while she's still kicking. We berate the vices of life constantly believing that they will kill us someday. Sure, Doris' pace maker might give out because of the face straddle but at least she goes out doing what she loves — watching strippers. And then there's the 105-year-old lady who eats a piece of bacon each morning of her life.

We promise this will be our only hippie, YOLO rant of the day, but we're tired of hearing about all the different ailments preventing us from enjoying life. If strippers and bacon are your thing, sometimes in unison, then jump right in and partake.