Pope Says He Needs Tequila For Bum Knee
It seems as though the blood of Christ just isn’t cutting it anymore.
The Pope (yeah, that’s the one) recently joked that he needed tequila for his bad knee while riding around in his car in St. Peter’s Square earlier this month.
According to an article from the Associated Press, Pope Francis joked with some Mexican seminarians that what he really needed for his knee pain was the same type of liquid that got you fired last month.
After being prescribed a wheel chair, a cane and physiotherapy, it’s no doubt that the Pope’s right knee is plaguing him worse than a swarm of locusts in Egypt. You see, that’s a bit of biblical humor for those of us who had no agency in how they spent their youthful Sunday mornings.
The Pope cracked the joke in St. Peter’s Square while riding around in his car, which every single person seems to call “The Popemobile” without batting a fucking eye.
If this were a contest and we were the judges, we’d certainly deduct points for originality. Imagine calling the General Lee the “Dukes of Hazzardmobile” or calling Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet “The Invisible Jet.” It just doesn’t sound as good.
As the Pope rode around in his Popemobile, he was stopped by a group of Mexican seminarians from the Legion of Christ who stated that they admired the Pope’s “ability to smile despite the pain and that he was an example for future priests such as themselves.”
Francis then joked about how what he really needs for his knee is some tequila, setting a stellar example for young men attempting to become priests.
The seminarians responded in laughter, promising to bring a bottle by the Santa Marta hotel where Francis lives.
You read that right. Did you know the most influential man in Christianity since Mel Gibson lives in a hotel?
Many are wondering if this is a newfound tradition in Catholicism, where Christ’s blood is turned to tequila and his body becomes a mezcal worm.