Spot in Vail Parking Garage Closes for $200K as Grim Reality Continues To Transpire

Spot in Vail Parking Garage Closes for $200K as Grim Reality Continues To Transpire

All we want for Christmas this year is an overpriced parking spot in a mountain town garage.

CultureDecember 12, 2022 By Marshall Dunham

A spot in a Vail parking garage closed for $195,000 on Monday, quickly worsening our urge to drive our car into a frozen lake while screaming at God.

“Rarely available, this Village Inn Plaza deeded parking space in Vail Village is one of the few that is reserved,” states a listing description from that reads like it was written by Scrooge McDuck.

Fortunately, the website has a calculator that estimates that at a 6.49% interest rate, and with 30 year fixed mortgage, a person would only need to pay $1,127 a month... every month for the next 30 years… for a parking space.

The listing comes two weeks after Vail CEO Kirsten Lynch gave a Q&A to the Denver Post in which she discussed Vail Ski Resort’s short staffing problems last ski season along with a wage increase and employee housing efforts.

Personally, we don’t see what the problem is; couldn’t the ski conglomerate simply buy the parking space for its employees to live in, stacking as many employees as possible within the confines of the white lines like a line of hot dogs at a gas station?

On days like these, where we realize that a person put down a $39,000 down payment on a parking space, we can’t help but wonder, “Is this the capitalistic, dystopian, labor-exploiting hellscape that modern day billionaires like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are hoping for?” and shortly after that, we think “Well, yeah.”

Also, can you believe we haven’t referenced the French Revolution yet? Do you have any idea how hard it is for us to do that?

Before you call us dramatic, let’s just say that we get it, OK? Vail is the land of $200 lift tickets and rich people wearing wide brim felt hats. You get out of your car and get slapped in the face with a smug sense of superiority as millionaires amble around you like a field of untaxed scarecrows. Who wants a $200,000 parking space there anyway?

Besides the fact that we’ve always had a dream to live out of a Vail parking garage in a Honda Civic for a season, we’ve got to say that it isn’t about the parking spot, man. It’s about what the parking spot represents… man.

Because at the end of the day, a Vail parking spot that closes for a little less than a quarter of a million dollars isn’t just a parking spot—it’s also an open letter addressed to any young person who has ever wanted to live near a ski resort or mountain town that says something along the lines of “Nice try, now fuck off back to your three jobs.”