In our next life, we're going to come back as a college professor who maintains their job by simply hosting a series of banal studies. This week, we head on over to Ohio State University where Terri Fisher put together a study that revealed pretty much what the single world already knows:

In our next life, we're going to come back as a college professor who maintains their job by simply hosting a series of banal studies. This week, we head on over to Ohio State University where Terri Fisher put together a study that revealed pretty much what the single world already knows: men and women lie about their sexual past in order to protect their image. Get the fuck out. 

The most humorous part of the study is that when women believed they weren't hooked up to a lie detector test, they reported a lower number of sexual partners. As for the men? Well, when they believed that they weren't hooked up to a lie detector test, they reported having more sexual partners. 

Here's the study:

The study involved 293 college students between the ages of 18 and 25. Each completed a questionnaire that asked how often they engaged in 124 different behaviors (from never to a few times a day) while connected to a polygraph machine.

Some people completed the questionnaire while they were attached to what they were told was a working lie detector machine. (It wasn’t.) Others were hooked up to the machine before the study began, supposedly to measure anxiety, and removed before completing the questionnaire.

The behaviors tested had been previously identified as prominent in one gender or the other by a separate study. Behavior types included writing poetry or lying about your weight (women) and wearing dirty clothes or telling obscene jokes (take a wild guess).

Behaviors like singing in the shower were identified as more negative for males, while poking fun at others and bench-pressing weights were more negative for females. Amazingly enough, neither men nor women had a problem admitting to such activities, but, when it came to their sexual behaviors, things changed.

Men reported more sexual partners when they weren’t hooked up to the lie detector than when they were, and women reported fewer. A similar pattern was discovered for reports of ever having experienced sexual intercourse.

What's the next study revealing what we don't already know? Virgins lack bedroom skills? Steven Seagull is a badass? Forgetting your phone when going to the bathroom causes serious anxiety?