Places in Oklahoma and Alabama now have vending machines where you can purchase ammunition, which says a lot of alarming things about our nation, but perhaps nothing is worse than the fact that we haven’t been able to find a vending machine selling Mountain Dew for under a buck since we went to that sketchy car wash with our father back in 2006.

According to an article from Cleveland.com (which is an actual news source, we guess) these vending machines, located in grocery stores, use Artificial Intelligence to verify ages and IDs using card scanning and facial recognition software.

In our days of writing Absurdist News, we’ve pretty much exhausted a long list of references about Terminators and how AI will be the end of the human race as we know it. But mark our words: when the machines wake up and know who bought bullets out of their vending machines, you’re going to wish you were like us: buying sketchy, refilled ammunition from a near-toothless man named Cletus who lives in a trailer behind Ace Hardware.