Vabbing: Why Are Women Wearing Their Vaginal Secretions Like a Perfume?
Every day we stray further from God, but that’s only because he hasn’t made a TikTok yet.
A new trend is taking the dating world by storm and if you guessed it pertained to working on inner childhood traumas or being yourself, you’re wrong, but in the ballpark. Any guesses? It’s called vabbing, and it’s the act of putting vaginal secretions on your neck before a night out in an attempt to attract a potential partner.
Why do people think this works? Apparently, the idea is that vaginal secretions contain pheromones, and by wearing these secretions like perfume, a woman has increased chances of attracting a partner.
Why are people actually doing it? Well, from what we can tell, it’s a combination of “because TikTok told us to” and “Americans in the 21st century have no ability to differentiate with what is real, viable information and what is absolute horseshit from an internet trolling community.”
According to an article from IndianExpress, many health care professionals are warning against it, because why the fuck do you think this would actually work?
“According to an Independent report, the ludicrous practice has around 13 million views on the platform, which goes on to show the kind of interest it has garnered; although many have rightfully labelled it as ‘disgusting,’” reads the article. “Per the outlet, one TikTok user — @jewlieah — who ‘vabbed’, explained that she took her natural ‘scent’ from her vagina and dabbed it on her wrists, along with the back of her ears. ‘Put it on surfaces that don’t touch other things, and don’t rub your wrists on other people,’ she was quoted as saying.”
In times like these, where 13 million people are watching content involving wiping vaginal fluid on their bodies, it’s nice to know that a select few TikTok users are considerate enough to disclose the really pertinent stuff, such as “don’t touch other things and people with the vaginal secretions you just wiped on your arms and neck.”
Even though the term comes from a combination of the words “vagina” and “dabbing,” we couldn’t find any indication that people were ripping huge dabs of vaginal secretions like they would a large amount of cannabis concentrate. Apparently, the dabbing part happens to your neck.
“So, please leave the orifices as they are,” one doctor told IndianExpress, explaining that the fluids exist for a reason, but it does not involve using them as fragrances. “The concept of pheromones exists in animals! But, we are an evolved species. All of these [trends] have no scientific basis at all. If one maintains their personal hygiene, they will anyway come across as confident and that will attract people.”
Indeed, while we didn’t see it coming, we’re not surprised that a pseudo-scientific trend like this has emerged from the deep bowels of TikTok. However, might we recommend putting the social media apps down and fixing our shitty personalities first?
Maybe, just maybe, your inability to find a partner stems not from your inability to secrete the proper pussy pheromones, but from the fact that you lack the critical thinking skills to wonder if something this horrendously stupid would actually work.
Have you considered that yet, or are you too busy rubbing vagina juice on your neck?