Memory is a fickle thing… and it gets even fickler when lizard people are meddling with reality

Our world is going topsyturvy, haywire before our very eyes — all over again. The lizard people are pushing wars, poking bears, and pulling strings; the intelligence communities are taking potshots at presidential candidates; and the words “viral pandemic” are being thrown around again by health officials and the WHO.

Election years, man. They’re a wild ride. 

Which is why, for September, we’re turning our attention away from the burning tent circus shitshow of this year’s “Big Vote.” We’re taking a step back from that madness and cracking open an old classic — a sci-fi theoretical physics mystery, a Satanic trans-realm demon portal story, a possible case of collective false memories, or something even more sinister… 

This month, Illuminati Today dissects the Mandela Effect. And you might not like my take when you get to the end of this. 

What are we talking about?

The Mandela Effect is one of the internet’s favorite conspiracy theories. It goes like this: Nelson Mandela died in 2013, yet people have vivid memories of his death having happened years prior when he was still in prison. A paranormal journalist determined this was evidence of a parallel universe (we’ll get to that in a second). 

The term was coined and people started coming up with other examples of this strange phenomenon. Wasn’t the famous children’s book series called the “Berenstein Bears” instead of the “Berenstain Bears”? Didn’t the Fruit of the Loom logo used to have a cornucopia basket in it? And wasn’t Sinbad in a ‘90s movie called Shazaam where he played a genie??

No, on all accounts — according to this reality. If you said yes to any of those questions you are experiencing the Mandela Effect. 

So what’s the deal? Why do some of us remember details from the past so differently? 

This is where shit gets weird. 

Parallel Universes

The original theory is still the most widely accepted by mainstream conspiracy blowhards. When the CERN particle collider created the Higgs Boson particle for the first time, some people believe it created a black hole that turned our reality inside out, ending the world, and spitting us all out in a different, alternate, parallel universe where everything is the same — except for a few brand logos, children’s book titles, and celebrity death dates. 

Portal to Hell

When CERN made its Higgs Boson particle (yeah more than one theory revolves around CERN and the Higgs Boson) scientists held a “prank” satanic ritual wearing black robes, standing in a circle around a giant Shiva statue illuminated by torchlight, and “reenacted” a human sacrifice. It’s on YouTube. You can watch it.

Admittedly, it’s a weird and pretty elaborate “prank.” Some call it evidence that these scientists weren’t actually interested in particle physics. Instead, they wanted to open a spiritual portal to Hell, through which demons have spilled and altered our memories, realities, and lives. 

Or something like that. 

Collective False Memories

Of course, there is a simpler explanation for those who prefer the “Occam’s Razor” approach. It could be that people are just sharing misremembered details online in mass. Perhaps those who swear Sinbad played a genie in a movie called Shazaam are just misremembering the one where Shaq played a genie titled Kazaam. Maybe folks just assumed Nelson Mandela had died in prison because they hadn’t heard any news about him for decades. Maybe it was actually “The Berenstain Bears” all along, and I just couldn’t read real good when I was five… 

Juan’s Word

None of these explanations satisfy me. Here’s the rub: some people have found vintage Fruit of the Loom apparel that does have the basket in it (contrary to the brand’s denial and internet claims). People have found VHS tapes of Shazaam with Sinbad playing a genie (contrary to Sinbad’s denial and internet claims). How can both be true?

Collective false memories might explain some of the more cliche examples of the Mandela Effect. But the more easily disprovable ones (Shazaam, Fruit of the Loom, etc.) hint at something more sinister. To me, it seems like an experiment; like a psychological test to see how the internet could be leveraged to rewrite a narrative and change people’s memories. Look up “memory implantation” and tell me you can’t imagine our three-letter agencies using it as a weapon of mass confusion online. The more tin foil I wrap around my head, the more sense it makes.