14 ghettolicious children's toys that make your childhood look like a fairytale

14 ghettolicious children's toys that make your childhood look like a fairytale

VicesSeptember 20, 2013

These are the things nightmares are made of... Meet 14 of the most ghetto kids toys a lack of money can buy.

1. This ghettolicious Infinite Pregnancy Doll, because nothing says "ghetto" like excessive childbirth

2. This unkempt leprechaun thing that derives it's entertainment value from an over-abundance of butt hair

3. This baby doll that convenitently doubles as a lethal weapon, because kids in the ghetto, they gotta defend themselves, man.

4. Food. Food is a ghetto toy. 

5. 1/35th of a coloring book that doubles as a meter which reveals the amount of therapy your child needs

6. This life-threatening hat. Perfect for dress-up!

7. This swing set. Comes with a fully-assembled Father of the Year.

8. This stripped-down, minimalist play house for the architecturally-minded ghetto baby

9. This kiddie pool/ giardia factory

10. A little something for particularly vicious, Chuckie-like children who thirst after your blood

12. This book that poses some very important questions to its target audience, children ages 5-10

14. Quadruple-amputee mutant hellspawn, because arms and legs frivolties that can't be afforded in ghetto-land