28 of the most glorious things to do in September, in Colorado
Do them! Do them all now!
Mile High Spirits Block Party
Turns out, you MFers brought the roof down on Mile High Spirits last year for its debut Block Party. So much so the team are reluctantly inviting you back, this time bringing in Quinn XCII, 3LAU, Party Favor and plenty more! Shindig starts at 2:00 p.m., goes to whenever they kick you out!
Mile High Spirits, Denver
Out Boulder County wants to put the stamp on the end of summer, and what better than its annual PrideFest — complete with vendors, giveaways, photo booths for them pretty smiles, and just a gay ol’ time celebrating love. Come one, come all.
Central Park, Boulder
September 12 – 13
SuicideGirls Blackheart Burlesque
*ring ring* Hello? Oh hi Tom. Yes, we enjoyed MySpace. Uh huh. Yeah. Oh they are? Tell them Denver is hot and ready. Hey guys, your #1 friends in the SuicideGirls are still at it, dropping drawers and entertaining the masses. And they want you there. Okay, BYE TOM!
Cervantes’ Masterpiece Ballroom
What’s being billed as the nation’s first hard seltzer fest is gonna be right here in your own backyard. Experience tastings from over 20 fizzies from across the U.S., with over 60 flavors to choose from. Art exhibits. Food trucks. Sarah “with an H” in the corner texting her ex-boyfriend. It’s the start of something beautiful.
EXDO Event Center, Denver
10th Annual Running of the Gays!
It’s the 10th year yes, but also its last. Come out and celebrate an honored Colorado institution — a 3-block race in heels! Drag show, youth performances, food options, and an all-ages “after-party” at X Bar shortly thereafter. Farewell, we hardly knew ye!
Ace Eat Serve, Denver
September 20 – 21
Dan Savage’s HUMP! Film Festival
Studies have shown that over 135 percent of people enjoy porn. Literally more people than are alive right now watch it. And Dan Savage, boy has he got somethin’ for all of us. The HUMP! Film festival showcases dirty movies, each less than 5 minutes (cause, that’s more realistic amirght? *high five*) all created by people who aren’t porn stars. CLASSICS!
The Oriental Theater, Denver
September 20 – 22 / 27 – 29
Yo this event is celebrating 50 years on Larimer Street. That means Denverites were out getting blasted on lager in faded Lederhosen before cordless phones took over America. Before Metallica even! And they’re old! Ain’t nothin’ like it.
2100 Larimer St., Denver
September 26 – 28
The High Plains Comedy Festival
Returning for its 7th year, the High Plains Comedy Festival isn’t like the festivals you’re familiar with. No neon trip-dances. No heart-thropping bass. No puke in the Portas. It’s just good dirty standup fun with Natasha Leggero, Mia Jackson, Jin Hickox and many, many more!
Multiple Venues, Denver
“Every week, it’s another city for me. I get asked the same questions every week by people: ‘Are people the same everywhere?’ No. Some places suck and have shittier people. I just gave you a sociology degree.”
Bellco Theatre, Denver
Night in Wakanda
Oh this sounds fun. Kick off the night tasting over 25 wines from WOSA (Wines of South Africa Association), with complimentary food, fashion show — featuring the 13 tribes from Black Panthers — a dance performance and an after-party following it all. WAKANDA FOREVER!
McNichols Building, Denver
October 3 – 5
Great American Beer Festival
An event that needs no introduction but we’ll do it anyway. Dun, dun dunnnnn!!! It’s the Great American Beer Festival kids — an absurd weekend featuring the world’s greatest beers in one big-ass room. Sip them all with tens of thousands of your closest friends. Tell them we sent you
Colorado Convention Center, Denver
“I have to explain to this guy that Jack Daniel's has an apostrophe in it, and one guy honestly said, 'You mean he followed Jesus?' 'Yeah, sir, he was one of the 12 apostrophes.' Like an apostrophe would ever follow Jesus! They have to give up all their earthly possessions, and hello ‘ their main job is to show ownership!”
Comedy Works South, Greenwood Village
RANDOM THINGS TO DO
READ: We’re All Bad In Bed
Sex, it’s a lot like pizza — even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. Author and playwright Shelby Simpson, on the other hand, wants to tell you about the worst pizzas she (and the people she interviews) has ever had. Dive into hilarious stories of bedroom fails with We’re All Bad In Bed, because yeah, we all kinda suck in the sack.
CELEBRATE: National Waffle Week
Don’t judge us. No, no, don’t do that. We get it, every other day there’s some sort of “National Fuckery Whatever Day” and media outlets jump all over it like they’re hip. But go back, look at the title, and tell us you wouldn’t destroy a plate of waffles just because. And during the first week of September, every year, you have a valid excuse. Waffle on Garth.
It sucks standing there awkwardly with nothing to do. It really does. You can pretend like you’re texting, but we’re all hip to that scam. Loner. How about dialing the Hall and Oates hotline instead? Just call, choose between four of their greatest hits, and sing along joyly. Strangers will leave you alone 100 percent.
Are you high now? Because you’re probably high. Rooster readers tend to be … botanists, of the highest regard. Why waste the feeling on political fights with strangers when you could be in Instagram checking out some of the craziest visuals out there. Whoever curates this should come work for us. We pay in leftovers and warm hugs.
THINGS TO DO IN DENVER, SPECIFICALLY
September 6 – 7
Midnight Madness: The Never Ending Story
TURN AROUND, LOOK AT WHAT YOU SEEEEE! IN HER FACE, THE MIRROR OF YOUR DREAAAAAMS. Okay so maybe Stranger Things re-upped the love of this movie, or maybe it was in our hearts all along. Either way, a midnight showing at the iconic Esquire — yeah, we’ll be there.
Landmark’s Esquire Theatre
Five Points Brew & BBQ
It’s the 2nd annual Five Points Brew & BBQ — with craft breweries on deck, BBQ trucks in the mix, and the sweet, sweet sounds of bluegrass, funk and soul in the air. Test your skills on the giant Jenga, corn hole and adult Twister too.
2736 Welton St.
Every Sunday in Sept.
RiNo Farmer’s Market
It’s all about health and supporting local — but it doesn’t mean it has to be a stale experience. With live music in the background, vendors hawking goods and … get this … a mimosa and beer garden for the hangover. Grocery shopping should always be this fun!
1399 35th St.
Stranahan’s Copper and Chords
“When American Single Malt whiskey and live bands come together, it’s music to our ears.” This is the first ever music festival at Stranahan’s Distillery, featuring the Gasoline Lollipops and Strange Americans … and cocktails. Can’t forget them delicious cocktails.
Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey
THINGS TO DO IN BOULDER, SPECIFICALLY
The Big Lebowski
“Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not ‘Mr. Lebowski.’ You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.”
NPR Politics Podcast LIVE
The NPR Politics Podcast was one of Apple’s most downloaded podcasts of 2018. And while it isn’t a disassociation from reality in front of a club speaker on a Friday night, it does you some good to know what’s going on in the world. Politically, that is. Sit down, listen, be better.
Doggie Dash 2019
This two-mile stroll and fun run at the Boulder Reservoir is reserved for dog owners who want to get out. But even if you don’t have a dog, you can challenge yourself to be there and pet as many cute little pinchy faces as possible. AHHHH!
National Geographic LIVE
Wha? Just the name of this thing sounds enticing. Like what could they possibly do … live!? What it is, is the people who bring you the world-class content of the magazine and speak about it in real time. And to that we say … game on, brilliant stewards of the world. Game on.
THINGS TO DO IN FORT COLLINS, SPECIFICALLY
Back to OLD School 2000s Bash
The Downtown Artery is rolling back the dial and taking you swell people all the way back to the 2000s, a time of blissful ignorance, large pants and an even larger pay gap between the sexes!! No wait … okay it wasn’t all perfect shut up. Get your best gear on to win prizes and party like it’s one year after 1999.
11th Annual Fall Harvest Brewfest
Drink a beer. Save a dog. The moral of Fall Harvest Brewfest’s story is simple. What the organization does is get people together for a fun event celebrating craft beer and canines. Taking palce in Lincoln Center in Old Town Fort Collins, the thing is about to get woof.
World Hoop Day
Colorado’s World Hoop Day is a special kind of event, one where like-mined hoopers get together for the good of community. Starting early with a mingling session and pot-luck, the event runs all day in the most hooptastic of ways. Sign up now via its event site.
Fossil Creek Park
October 2 & 6
Roger Waters Us + Them
If you don’t know him … personally … then you may have heard of his music. Roger Waters was one of the driving forces behind Pink Floyd, and The Lyric wants to show you film from one of his recent tours in a most comfortable atmosphere. Two special screenings. One special musician.