21 Reasons Tinder and Grinder give us a tickle in our pants

21 Reasons Tinder and Grinder give us a tickle in our pants

SexOctober 17, 2013

You know that saying "There's other fish in the sea?" Well, according to Tinder and Grinder, there's definitely not. Here's 21 truths about the limited romantic options you have these days.

1. Well first of all, all the "fish" are pussies

2. They all have these impossible standards

3. Just...this

4. You have to be blonde to get with them otherwise you're so fucked

5. Some of them would like their nipples to be the first thing you notice about them, and that's just not right

6. None of them know how to use a measuring tape. Several inches?! By golly, this man can climb into our pants anytime!

7. So many of them are out of your league

8. They're into some fringe fetish shit that might really freak you out

9. They suck at poetry

10. Some of them are Charles Manson

11. They're not interested in how you feel about current events

12. Um, this

13. They don't get that wishes aren't horses, they're wishes and that's that so deal with it

14. They  just don't understand how much dry cleaning costs these days

15. They don't understand your God

16. They don't want to die in a car-jacking/ knife fight in Compton

17. They're married and just sort of stumbled across this "Tinder" thing on and whim and don't even know how to use it, ha ha!

18. They're just using you to get on your blog

19. There's just no words

20. Pet sacrifice is a thing they do...Never a good sign

21. They speak Kid Rock but have a difficult time with English