4 Ways using trash as treasure will change your average lifestyle
If you look hard enough, there’s value in all refuse ... except the Kardashians. ...
On A Roll
Vacuuming hard-to-reach areas.
Paper towel roll.
It’s not the 8th Wonder of the World, but it’s pretty damn close. If you’re stuck at home with cleaning duties and find yourself trying to reach Lost-like areas with the sucky wand, simply attach a paper towel roll to it and bend it around both nooks and crannies at will. Soon, you’ll be slurping up those 3-year-old fly carcasses out the window sills like the true home-diva your heart truly aches to be.
Drinking beer in public.
Empty pop can.
Because our attorney reads new issues too, we’re required to say it: drinking in public is against the law. But if you were to allegedly do it sometime soon, you can do so easily by carefully cutting off the top and bottom of a pop can and then fitting the empty shell of it around a Bud Light or something not disgusting like a PBR — which is only half disgusting. Use some tape to secure it on, or don’t because whatever, you’re a rebel.
No Date Shack
Barren, embarrassing walls.
Like any other millennial trying desperately to find a brunch-mate in 2018, you’re terrible at it. And it’s not all you, you’re fly as fuck; it’s your dingy apartment that’s the problem. To rectify it, grab a handful of free paint stirrers from Home Depot, stain ‘em up and glue them to a broken mirror. Or… OR … buy some old records and clocks from the thrift store, bust out the mechanical guts and slip them into the records’ hole to make retro-styled embellishments.
Legs are wobbly.
There you are, standing on two legs like a friggin’ idiot growing increasingly weary because you’re old now. One simple solution is to die, but that’s not often the most plausible of choices. So look around, find an old bucket, and turn it upside down. Before you know it, blood will begin to rush back into your cankles just by sitting down. Soon enough, you’ll find shouting, “Damn you kids!” will flow with a natural ease.