5 Quick facts about booze you can read while pretending to work
One of the first cultures to brew beer was the Ancient Babylonians. Printed in their well-preserved law, the Code of Hammurabi, it says plainly that brewing a bad batch was a mistake punishable by death — by being drowned in the skunky attempt. Likewise, any bartender caught watering down beer would be executed on the spot.
In 2013, one study by Northern Kentucky University confirmed that drinking alcohol with diet mixers get you drunk 18 percent more than non-diet varieties. This is all because sugar sows the absorption process into your bloodstream.
Many guys think drinking is a good companion for a wild sex life, but science says just the opposite. In fact, studies show that men who are dependent on alcohol have a 60 to 70 percent chance of going through sexual problems — including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and just plain loss of wanting it at all.
A little over 10 years ago, astronomers started finding massive alcohol clouds floating around in space — some spanning almost 300 billion miles wide. It’s unclear why they’re up there or where they came from, but what is known is that they play a large part in the birth of stars. There’s a Nickelodeon joke in there somewhere. We can feel it.
The phrase “Mind your p’s and q’s” is thought to be an old English proverb used long ago when bar patrons got all shitty to other guests. Minding your p’s and q’s meant to watch your pints and quarts, as that was the only sizes available for liquor in bars at the time.