5 Real news stories that will make you feel so much better about yourself
Colorado man arraigned on drug charges, drops bag of cocaine on floor during hearing
An Eagle, Colorado man in court on drug charges attempted to show respect for the judge by removing his cowboy hat, but instead, accidentally dropped a small bag of cocaine on the floor, which immediately grabbing the attention of deputies in the room. Hey cowboy, you forgot the first rule of drug club: don’t bring drugs to your drug court hearing.
Booty call provided as reason man ran from the police
An 18 year-old Florida motorist told police he was in such a rush to meet his girlfriend for a sexual encounter he wasn’t aware of the flashing lights or sirens coming from the cops trying to pull him over for speeding and reckless driving. Oh, the good ol’ days when you’re 18 and every possible sexual encounter is worth 14 points off your license. hey U up?
Man teased by coworkers for looking like a serial killer, turns out to be serial killer
Employees at a Tampa Bay McDonald’s were shocked when a coworker, who they teased looked a lot like the Seminole Heights Killer mug shot, handed the store manager the gun he used to murder the four people before turning himself in. Police tried to question the coworkers but their feet were so far jammed in their mouths nothing could be discerned.
Flat-earther wants to prove earth is flat by firing himself above the mojave desert in homemade rocket
“Mad” Mike Hughes is battling the government over the right to fire himself 1,800 feet above the Mojave Desert in a homemade, steam-powered rocket. He wants to prove the earth is flat by disproving all previous photos from space showing a round planet are fake. We’re probably not alone in saying this, but maybe let Mad Mike just try and see how it goes?
5-year-old boy suspended for making ‘terrorist threats’
A California kindergartner was suspended for making “terrorist threats” against school officials when the teacher asked him to remove his backpack and he said he couldn’t because it would explode. Turns out the boy was only playing an imaginative game where he was a hero — yet still, school officials told the father “it’s what legal told us to do.” Truth be told, if any 5-year-old is capable of making a backpack bomb, we should be tossing first-place science fair awards at him, not labeling him a terrorist.