6 Brilliant things to do with leftover beer
Fallen soldiers don't have to die in vain; you can use your leftover beer for more life-improving activities than you can shake a stick at.
Grandpa’s goofy cough syrup also serves as grandma’s favorite cleaner. Your fermented friend polishes metals, cleans counters and helps break down hard-to-clean grim on pots and pans. The acidity level in beer is just subtle enough to deep clean surfaces and metals while not tainting or staining the material. The carbonation also breaks down the grime collection on pots. Rinse the beer well after you’re finished to avoid attracting beer-loving insects or thirsty friends who probably owe you money.
The grass is always greener in your neighbor’s yard because, chances are, your friends use your lawn as their personal latrine. Dissolve those brown patches by applying water diluted with beer to your lawn. Beer contains many of the same natural ingredients found in fertilizers, such as magnesium, calcium, folate and phosphorus that produce greener grass and healthier flowers. As for your friends, tell them pee in the neighbor’s yard.
Get a Better Night’s Sleep
Drink enough of anything and you’ll slip into the wide world of sheep counting. With beer, there’s more to the story. Hops are often used as an herbal remedy to treat insomnia. They contain a chemical compound that, when inhaled, acts as a sedative, calming your anxiety over pop culture’s vapid decline of moral integrity. To fully indulge in the floral therapy, sew hops into your pillow or place them around your sleeping area. Sure you’ll look clinically insane, but you’ll have the last laugh when you sleep like a baby. (Ok, so it's not 'leftover beer' technically, but who are you, the Internet police?)
We can only imagine the individual who stumbled upon this brilliant life hack was holding a beer and drunkenly making pancakes when he or she decided to live on the wild side and dump some of it into pancake batter. The small gesture would forever change the way pancakes are made and morning drinking would be interpreted. Substitute the liquid called for in the recipe with a lager beer to achieve fluffier and airier pancakes that’ll turn Somber Sunday into Pancake Funday.
The last time you had beer in your hair, you were face down in the front yard wearing nothing but your swimsuit. Now, there’s a method for that madness, as beer is a nourishing supplement for your illustrious locks. The natural vitamins such as niacin, potassium and trace amounts of protein add volume and shine to your flowing façade. So drop the Garnier Fructis and massage a cup of cooked-down beer (alcohol dries out hair) and raw egg into your scalp to achieve that Herbal Essence sensuality.
Your delicate hide deserves more than a generic mineral soap assortment and loofah treatment. Take your evening bathing sessions to the next level by simply adding dark beer to the equation. The vitamins and yeast in beer work wonders on skin, leaving it exfoliated and smelling like a baker’s dozen. Tie that in with a contact high and you’ve just found a solution to your lonely nights. So what are you waiting for? Turn on the slow jams, light the candles and let the dark beer invade your every crevice.
... or, you know, you can just drink it.