6 ways women get around Instagram’s pesky no nipples rule [NSFW]

6 ways women get around Instagram’s pesky no nipples rule [NSFW]

SexJuly 18, 2018 By Lindsey Kline

For years, a war has been waged against Instagram’s no-nipple policy. The platform’s sexist censorship exclusively targets women, yet lets men run rampant with pictures of their nips, butts and nutsacks.

This double standard has inspired mass rebellion. On Instagram, women are endlessly pushing the boundaries of the nipple ban with creative ways to share their mammary glands.


[Chelsea Handler posted this photo to Instagram 3 times; each time it was deleted]

The stakes are high. If Instagram catches a whiff of female nudity, it will remove photos or permanently delete entire accounts.

But ladies fight on fearlessly. Some revolt in the name of destigmatizing the female body and eliminating social injustices. Others just want to show off their perky tits. No matter their reasons, here are the ways that women are sharing their nipples to Instagram without getting censored.

ARTSY-FARTSY NIPPLES

 

Instagram’s strict guidelines allow for a little loophole — “nudity in photos of paintings and sculptures is OK.”

However, only a limited number of women are blessed with the ability to recreate their breasts on canvas. For ladies who want to bare their boobs without painting their own “Sistine Chapel,” there are a number of apps that can turn photos into drawings, paintings and cartoons.

The transformation will have to look convincing. Instagram doesn’t consider heavily Photoshopped tit pics “artistic” enough for its nipple aesthetic. Everyone’s a critic.

BREASTFEEDING

Recently, Instagram updated it community guidelines to allow for the presence of nipples if women are actively breastfeeding.

Women say this was hardly a victory for Instagram equality. It sends the message that breasts are only acceptable when a baby’s mouth is attached, and their bodies are only appropriate in a reproductive setting.

It’s hardly a life hack to spawn a poop machine for the sake of posting your nipples to Instagram. In fact, it’s probably the worst example we’ve ever heard of of doin’ it for the gram. But cheating the system is never easy.

SEE-THROUGH CLOTHES

As long as you pretend like you were aiming to cover your nipples, Instagram will give you the benefit of the doubt.

They’ll assume it was a mistake that you jumped into the pool with a white t-shirt on. That you didn’t intend to wear lingerie that leaves nothing to the imagination. That you goofed when you wore no bra and a paper-thin top, and a cold breeze came and made your nipples stand at-attention like dutiful soldiers.

If you put any kind of fabric over your nips, Instagram will reckon you did your best to get dressed, and something just went wrong along the way.

SOMEONE ELSE’S NIPPLES OVER YOUR OWN NIPPLES


Instagram is down with nipples, as long as they’re not yours. If you paste over your teats with an image of someone else’s, Instagram is happy to look the other way. Ideally, the other pair of nipples will belong to a dude.

To make a statement about the ridiculousness of this rule, one campaign created a male nipple “template” to place over any offensive female breasts. Sure, ladies’ boobs have nurtured mankind since the beginning of earthly time, but now they’re just indecent.

GOING GENDERLESS

In the war against Instagram’s nipple ban, Genderless Nipples is on the front lines of battle. The account publishes user-submitted photos of nipples that are too close-up to tell whether the nipple belongs to a man or a woman.

Their message is clear: it shouldn’t matter where the nip came from. A nipple is a nipple, and all nipples should be treated equally.

Scrolling through the Genderless Nipples account leaves you with a sneaking suspicion that all the nips belong to girls. But the truth remains as elusive as who killed JFK or what’s turning the frogs gay.

BLUR OUT EVERYTHING EXCEPT YOUR NIPPLE

 

No doubt this strategy makes Mark Zuckerberg's head explode. It fails to censor the one piece of the photo that needs to be neutralized, yet still doesn’t warrant a breach of Insta’s guidelines.

Plus, it doesn’t matter if you’re having a bad hair day. Of all the cunning ways around the nipple ban, this one takes the cake.