7 Painfully hilarious stories of people caught pleasuring themselves
Each year, we ask our readers to participate in Rooster Magazine's annual Ultimate Sex Survey — a collection of questions and responses hard to get enough of.
And each time we do it, stories come out of nowhere that make us thankful we weren't the only ones with fucked up things happening on the constant.
One of the questions we asked this year was, "Tell us about a time you got caught masturbating." And the results, well ...
"I was in high school and I accidentally left my door unlocked. I had a shirt on, and covers over my bottom half, but I was 'dj'-ing it, if you will, and my mom opens my door—and I mean wide open—and I tried covering it up and pretending like I was doing something else—as if you could pretend?—and my mom goes 'are you doing the wild thing?' I was mortified."
"As a kid my mom walked in on me while watching the wavy lines on the porn channel we did not get. The remote was in my hand and I must've hit the jump button 5 times back and forth"
"I was masturbating in the shower with the shower head as a teen and my dad walked in. I have never seen him more mortified. We have literally NEVER brought it up again or spoken about it to anyone."
"I was a freshman in high school getting to know my body and having fun with my shower head and my mom came home from work and since it was just us two she didn’t care to walk into my room or bathroom without notice....and well there I was"
"I don't think she knew what was going on, but my roommate once walked in while I was making a video for my boyfriend."
"My sister when I pretended to go "to bed" right after the nude scene in American pie"
"I was spread eagle naked on my bed, meowing"