7 reasons why having a big ass is the best thing you can have
Next time you're wondering if your ass looks fat in them jeans, pray to the butt gods that it does. Because according to a groundbreaking study, women with big ol' butts are both healthier and more intelligent than women who are less endowed. Big booty hoes FTW!
Researchers at Oxford University surveyed 16,000 women and found the following bootylicious findings that explain why having a big ass is pretty much like winning the genetic lottery:
1. Women with big butts tend to have lower levels of cholesterol and produce more hormones that metabolize sugar. This makes them less susceptible to both diabetes and heart disease
2. Having a monstrous gluteus maximus also requires an excess of Omega 3 fatty acids, which help catalyze brain development.
3. Children born to women with wider hips are intellectually superior to children born to women with narrow hips, thereby making the whole "Yo momma's so fat" joke thing so much less impactful.
4. Women with junk in the trunk have higher levels of leptin, a hormone that controls appetite suppression.
5. Girls with big asses have higher levels of the hormone dinopectin, a hormone with magical anti-inflammatory, vascular-protective and anti-diabetic powers.
6. Butt fat traps harmful fatty particles and stores them so they don't leach into your blood, a handy mechanism which can reduce cardiovascular disease.
7. Women with big butts and smaller waists may even live longer. God bless the butt.