9 Apps every self-respecting Denverite should have

9 Apps every self-respecting Denverite should have

CultureAugust 23, 2016 By Isabelle Kohn

Living in Denver comes with its own special snowflake lifestyle, doesn't it?

The drinking, the weed-ing, the road rage ... it's all part of a unique existence only those privileged enough to afford a dilapidated one-bedroom in Capitol Hill know.

But did you know there are ways to enhance that singular feeling of Denver life? Little, easy life-hacks that make living here smoother than Willie Nelson's Reserve?

They're called apps, and several of them apps are tailored perfectly to fit the needs of Denverites.

Since we care so fully and deeply about you in every way, we decided to share some with you to today. Hopefully they make your life in this city better, but if they don't, well, maybe you're not truly living.

1. Loopr

Like most app companies, Loopr hates titular vowels, but they do offer rides around town for people who are too god ding dong dang high to drive, so they're forgiven.

And yes, you can smoke in the vehices.

Suck a bong, RTD.

2. ParkMe

With Denver's rampant overcrowding and the never-ending influx of transplants, parking has never been more of a pain in the dick. Thankfully, ParkMe helps you find parking lots close to you, tells you if they're full, and lets you price compare so you can spend less time driving around aimlessly and more time aimlessly masturbating. Or rock climbing. Whatever.

3. Roaming Hunger

We're not sure why food that comes out of a dilapidated, converted truck is so much better than restaurant food, but it is and that's that. Food trucks are quick(ish), inexpensive and the menu is small enough that deciding what to order doesn't cause Cheesecake Factory-like paralysis, so it's absolutely dire you know where in the city they are. Roaming Hunger tells you precisely that, as well as when they operate so you can live that life like the on-the-go hangry man you are. You can even book one if you're rich, which you probably are. Welcome to New Silicon Valley, Googlers!

4. Favor

You know you're in Denver when it's May, but there's 17 feet of snow blocking your door and you can't get out to the liquor store to get your vital craft beer six pack.

... You also know when you're in Denver when the line at the Container Store stretches down the block because these god damn transplants need plastic tub storage for their New Jersey nostalgia items.

Good thing Favor will deliver (almost) anything you want to your doorstep in under an hour, so can get your errands done from the comfort of your own over-priced apartment.

We say "anything" because it's unlikely they'll deliver your dad's love to you.

5. Drizly

Drizly is kind of like Favor, except for booze ... something that really comes in handy when you're both snowed in and new transplanted-in. 

Plus, the bars are way too crowded in this god damn city anyway. If we wanted to pay $17 for a cocktail, we'd just work harder and get a series of successive promotions at our jobs over the next 10 years, tirelessly sweating and grunting all the while.

Like that would ever happen. Booze delivery is a much smarter option for Denverites. Give us cheap booze and give it to us now.

6. TapHunter

Okay wait, what's that we hear? You do want to leave your house sometimes? Denver's craft beer scene and innovative drinking culture are too irresistible to nourish your agoraphobia?

Okay, fine. Use TapHunter. It'll tell you exactly what's on tap at all your favorite restaurants.

Perfect for your inner beer snob, which we know is in there. We can smell it through your beard and ironic vintage tropical-dad button-up.

7. TrailLink

The only reason anyone lives in Denver is because it's close to those giant, tree-covered monstrosities to the West. People just take one look at them and think, "I've got to step on those babies!"

Good thing TrailLink gives you all the information you need on the best hiking, walking and biking trails in the Boulder/Denver/general mountain area. Pretty handy, especially if you don't want to end up like the guy that took a wrong turn and spent two nights on the second Flatiron.

8. WeedMaps

Where the fuck is the nearest dispensary? If you're in Denver, it's everywhere you look, but you need more specific directions and information, WeedMaps is there for you. They also list doctors and weed delivery services too, isn't that nice?

9. Tinder

What? Everyone is hot here. You need this app.

And if you blow through the fuckable dating pool on Tinder, never fear because we both know a new wave of hot young tech outdoors-people are probably hurtling towards you in their Honda Elements as we speak. The supply shall be replenished. Thus is the cycle of life.