9 things we learned from Colorado's first day of legal weed
1. Not even looking like Chad Kroger from Nickleback could keep people from containing their joy.
At dispensaries all across the state, people's personal problems were dwarfed by the merry realization that they could spend their hard-earned money on weed.
2. Dispensaries served up a healthy selection of recreational strains, causing some customer's to display never-before-seen facial expressions that curiously mimicked arousal.
3. Legal weed makes your dad less of an asshole.
This father-son team traveled all the way from Georgia, camping out in their van along the way to get their hands on that legal shit. They plan to move to Colorado together, so they can live out the rest of their natural lives with their distasted for each other subdued by the relaxing effects of legal marijuana.
4. Sean Azzariti, an Iraq war vet with PTSD, became the first person ever to buy recreational weed.
He wasn't exactly a fair representation of the type of people who'd be most excited about legal weed (freshmen), but he'll do.
5. The prices weren't bad; not low enough to make your weed dealer consider getting his GED, but not high enough that you actually have to call him to get a gram
Sean Azzariti spent $40.00 on 3.5 grams, and sales tax was $10.46. Not cheap like you friend Stoner Steve's stuff, but not ridiculously priced either.
6. There are already Google maps of where you can buy ammo for your dragon bong.
Thanks to Google's swift upload of a recreational weed map, you no longer have to embark on some sort of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle journey to get your weed. Just type in 'licensed recreational marijuana dispensaries" into Google, jump into your mom's Chevy Astro, and drive half a block to your nearest legal weed outlet.
7. People like weed. Enough to stand in giant lines to get it.
It was unclear whether the long lines formed because stoners wanted to make history on January 1st because they thought all the legal weed would run out, or because standing in crowds makes them feel like they're part of the universe, man.
8. Despite the long lines, people in the crowds were relatively "calm."
Yeah, that's one way to put it.
9. There are all these new "Know the Law" posters around the town, reminding you that you can't smoke weed anywhere while doing anything.
In case you forgot that you can't operate a helicopter in a park while being 16 and high.