All happy people have these 5 amazing traits in common
Happy people, one in any group is one too many. Luckily for the rest of us, a quickly thrown together listicle can point out the ways in which they are all the same so that we can further block them from our perfectly curated friends-list of hopeless disappointments and political rants from lower-educated cousins who start drinking at 10 a.m.
Their social media accounts are full of shit
No less than 3 grossly positive quotes embellished over a stock sunset photo is what happy people litter their Facebook accounts with weekly — often completely misunderstanding the point of the message, not knowing it’s misattributed to assume some B-list celebrity is that deep or they’re again fishing for likes in an unending spiral of self-preservation. In better terms, any social media account tied to a “happy” person is fast food for the Internet.
Everyone around them hates who they are as a person
A simple bell curve explains why overly cheerful friends are obnoxious to be around. Too much gloom and doom and you’re killing the vibe; buckets of posies and dandelions and you’re doing the same. Unless it’s illicit drugs that has pushed someone over to the extreme right side of the graph, the behavior is generally a nuisance and attacks the status quo of normal people just trying to survive another day.
They’re completely clueless to the world around them
Being happy means a person has completely avoided the news cycle for at least the past 18 months and very clearly glances over headlines in a way that requires such advanced mental gymnastics it’s almost envious. The upside? They likely feel like a Glade Scented Candles commercial on the inside. The downside? They still think The Real World series was a successful documentary.
Nobody believes anything they say
“Ashley said it’s going to be a good party.”
Ashley, the self-proclaimed “life guru” who “lives life to the fullest” is always telling people everything is perfect and pure while wearing Lulululemon stretchy pants with Dalmatians on them — yet nobody who hears any of it wants to validate her delusions completely. Why? Regular people know that life comes with ups and downs and if there really is this much positivity somewhere, it’s because Ashley finally found a glitch in the matrix.
Look, Greg’s happy again; it couldn’t possibly be because he’s thinking about the time his girlfriend left him for his frat brother or about how his Labradoodle has an acute kidney infection which means he has to choose between a $4,000 vet bill and putting it down.
No, life throws curveballs, and while Greg is probably a good dude with great intentions, he can't possibly feel like there isn't something around the corner every single day when the cards he's been dealt are literal trash. If he's happy, he's lying. It's that easy.