This app teaches you how to do oral sex by licking your phone screen. Romance isn't dead.

This app teaches you how to do oral sex by licking your phone screen. Romance isn't dead.

SexMarch 10, 2014

You know what they say; there's no better way to improve your cunnilingus skills than to avoid human contact all together and tongue your smartphone's delicate, sensitive touch-screen instead. Because sometimes, Siri needs some love too.

That's why there's 'Lick This,' a new app that teaches you how to do oral sex by licking your phone's screen. It comes straight from San Francisco-based company "Club Sexy Time," so you know it's legit.

To get started,  just choose from one of three oral sex lessons the app offers.

There's "Up n' Down," which challenges you to flick a light switch on an off as fast as you possibly can with your tongue, "Circles," which lets users move a the handle of a pencil sharpener around in a circle with their tongues, and our personal favorite, "Freestyle," which allows users to go to town on that junk by using their tongues to jab at a beach ball that bounces around to random places on a screen. Trust us, your lady is going to love that one.

But wait; before you and Siri start going at it, remember to be safe and "wrap it up." The app's site suggests you use Saran wrap as a makeshift dental dam before oyster diving with your phone. Good idea, we hear Siri gets around.