Beard implants: so hot right now. Beard implants.

Beard implants: so hot right now. Beard implants.

CultureAugust 22, 2013

Beards. The international symbol of manhood, an emblem of testosterone spread across the faces of fertile, lumberjack-like men around the world.  And most recently, favorite fashion accessory of hipsters and mainstream hunks alike. But, as you know, not everyone possesses the ability to sprout forth hair from their mug. Some less fortunate men, must roam the earth unintentionally clean-shaven. Well, thanks to a new trend in plastic surgery, hairless man-children of the world may finally bear the bushy beards of their dreams.

Beard implants. They're so hot right now.

That's right. There's a procedure where hair is 'harvested' from from the back of your head and transplanted to the front of your face via Follicular Unit Extraction (FUE). In fact, it's becoming so popular that there's been a six-fold increase in the frequency of the procedure since 1996, Dr. Bessam Farjo reports.

Dr. Farjo pioneered the first facial hair transplant back in '96. Transplant procedures are now the most popular form of cosmetic surgery for men in the UK. The Daily Mail reports,

Over 4,500 procedures were carried out last year, 13 per cent more than those performed the previous year. This is over 300 per cent more than the 1,043 rhinoplasties undergone by men in the UK during the same year.

Well, shit! We're pretty stoked that manhood can now literally be transplanted onto your face. But, not everyone is rejoicing in this miracle of modern medicine. Some beardless men feel cheated by the recent trend in bear implants. Nate Hopper from Esquire , who cannot grow a beard despite his most earnest efforts, had this to say:

Maybe Nate's just pissed because he doesn't have enough hair on the back of his head for a transplant...Don't worry buddy, you can borrow some of ours.

All this trend beard implant stuff got us thinking...What would we do with our newfound facial hair if we got a beard implant? Here's what we're thinking...

1. The Lattice

...How? Exactly.

2. The Spiderbeard

Does whatever a spider-beard does.

3. We don't even know what to call this...

Who said a beard has to be below your nose and above your chin? This beard defies convention...and let's girls know it's time to start running away.

4. The Rapunzel

Perfect for helping our high school girlfriends sneak out.

5. A random curly thing that'll take all morning to style

Because, sure.