Billionaires playground apartment tower has elevator for our porsche. Finally.

Billionaires playground apartment tower has elevator for our porsche. Finally.

CultureJanuary 10, 2014

Living modestly is for the other 99 percent. We're tired of leaving our fancy cars in the underground garage and having to hike the stairs to our penthouse apartment overlooking the Atlantic ocean. We're over living in apartments where the six-figure-salary citizens can easily share an elevator with us or even think of talking to us on any given day. Something has to be done and thanks to Porsche and the lovable millionaires and billionaires of the world, someone has heeded our complaint and come to our rescue.

Say hello to gluttony and good-bye to modesty with the Porsche Design Tower on Miami's south beach front. The tower will reach 60 floors tall and contain over 132 units beginning at the poor-man's price of $4 million for a three bedroom and going as high as the decadent 16,000 sq.ft. $32.5 million four-level penthouse. We'll take three of the penthouses. The tower comes equipped with a spa, movie cinema and each unit has maid quarters — damn right they do — and a plunge pull on the balcony.

While all of this should fulfill our appetite for luxury and feed our ego, we still need something more. This just isn't enough. And once again, Porsche feels our pain and frustration and therefore, they've installed a car elevator — probably for a Porsche considering that it's a Porsche project — that visits each millionaire's layer and allows them to park their motor vehicle in their apartment. Besides carbon monoxide poisoning, leaking oil and the plethora of other vehicle disasters that could destroy your apartment, this is exactly what the doctor ordered. Because we all know, us millionaires can't have our cars parked in a regular garage. It just doesn't make sense. 

Porsche is set to break ground on the tower in late 2014 and finish up the opulent escape from modesty by 2016. As of now, 22 millionaires have purchased a flat totaling a whopping $600 million dollars in apartment sales already for the tower. For anyone who questions if the gap between the poor and the rich is growing, you will not be allowed into the building.