Brooklyn bar to host smallest penis contest. Finally, a contest we can win.

Brooklyn bar to host smallest penis contest. Finally, a contest we can win.

VicesMay 20, 2013

Calling all confident men with small penises, there's a competition in Brooklyn that will allow you to be crowned "2013 smallest penis in Brooklyn" which we're sure many girls will find irresistible. Local bar, King's County Bar has decided to cherish the small things in life by hosting the competition on July 20. 

The craigslist ad for the competition stated the bar is looking for "less endowed men." All contestants will wear a Borat-style thong as part of the standardized undie attire that should level the playing field. Did we mention that all contestants must be comfortable getting hosed down in their underwear? Because that's on the agenda. Not only will you have a small member, but it will be splashed with cold water making your junk look like a literal twig and berries. 

In an email to The Huffington Post, one of the event promoters described the small penis contest as "a pageant for confident people with a sense of humor" that seeks to empower the little guys.

Call it what you want to call it, a small penis competition sounds like a recipe for disaster. Or a great place to build our self-esteem while allowing us to feel well-endowed.