This month in following trends: Juggalo makeup is in, Oklahoma is out
Welcome to Bullshit or Bullseye, a look into the current trends of American culture and where they line up on the scale of supporting social progression by way of not sucking, or simply just sucking, and sucking hard. Here's what we have to look forward to for the next few weeks or until something new and shiny comes along and grabs both eyes of the country.
Sixty-three years after the murder of a 14-year-old child, our timely government has quietly opened the case of Emmett Till back up because of a “discovery of new information.” There’s been many, but Till’s story has been one of the most visible cases of injustice ever seen — the main witness admitted she lied and the confessed murderers never saw a dime in prison. This could very well be a turning point to right long gone wrongs. Doubt it. But we can always hope.
No, since you asked, 2018 cannot get any stranger. Nor can life. Last month, a computer science blogger for WonderHowTo discovered Juggalo makeup defeats facial recognition software. “i made a breakthrough,” @tahkion tweeted. “if you want to avoid surveillance, become a juggalo i guess.” Avoiding detection by the NSA now requires you to only swear a lifetime of allegiance to the fam. Whoop Whoop!
A few years back, father and son duo Kyle and Michael Sherwood developed a super-secret process of saving tattoos. Not from the perils of sunburns or time, however, but of decay … like from death. They preserve and frame tattoos of the deceased. Get it? For about $1,600 it doesn’t come cheap, but the Sherwoods say they do close to 200 a year. Save My Ink Forever might be onto something.
Plenty of smaller companies offer it, but having Amazon jump into the liquor delivery game will likely bring the concept mainstream. For now, the 1 to 2 hour boozy delivery time is only available in Texas, but if successful, could mean you’ll never need to leave the house and converse with the public again.
Both Budweiser and Burger King are pretty awful, internally, allegedly. So it makes sense the two are teaming up to sell their goods. You’ll soon (if not now) be seeing the co-commercials that for some reason unearthed the “Wassssuuuup” debacle from long ago. On second thought, just drink Avery, Boulder Beer Co., Crazy Mountain or whatever others that advertise with Rooster Magazine. You won’t be sorry (or farty).
Despite the lawsuit it filed against Colorado some years back, it seems the narcs of the Midwest are cool again. It voted, overwhelmingly, to legalize medical marijuana under a lax program. BUT, state authorities are trying to squeeze unnecessary restrictions in it, like not allowing people to smoke weed, just ingest. Like animals. You can take the trash out of the … well, you get it.
It’s sad to still have to say these things, however, simply sharing anything on Facebook won’t make you rich. Last month, Tyler Perry was forced to make an announcement because phishers and scammers were out doing what they do. Repeat, Perry is not giving away $250k just because you liked one of his pages. Liking anything Perry does actually makes you worse off, so …