Cops warn of “Meth-Gators” in Alabama’s waterways, ask public: “Please don’t flush your drugs”

Cops warn of “Meth-Gators” in Alabama’s waterways, ask public: “Please don’t flush your drugs”

Drugs don’t just disappear when they go down the toilet

VicesJuly 16, 2019 By Will Brendza

On July 13th officers with the Loretto Police Department in Alabama made a pretty routine drug bust. They had a target, named Andy Perry and when they arrived at his home with a search warrant, they discovered him in his bathroom madly flushing drugs down the toilet.

Not just any drugs, either: Perry was flushing a pretty serious quantity of crystal and liquid meth down the tube. And when officers recovered what he had failed to flush, they arrested him on possession of methamphetamine with intent to sell, tampering with evidence and possession of drug paraphernalia. He is now killing time behind bars in the Lawrence County Jail.

Although the incident itself was not unusual, by any means, it elicited a rather unusual response from the local PD. On their Facebook page, they released a statement about the ordeal: a statement that warns of drug-poisoned aquatic eco-systems, and “Meth-Gators.”

“Folks…please don’t flush your drugs m’kay,” the Loretto police wrote in the post. “When you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in our retention ponds for processing before it is sent down stream. Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth. Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do. Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way.”

Now, it’s hard to tell whether this is a serious warning or a tongue-in-cheek jab at people who get caught flushing their drugs. But, considering the natural capacity that police officers tend to have for humor, it’s probably safe to assume that this is not a joke. Or, at least, it probably wasn’t meant to be one.

Which is upsetting on several levels. First and foremost, the idea of an alligator cranked up on one of the craziest and meanest drugs out there, is terrifying. Alligators do not need meth, they are already scary enough.

Then there’s the issue of poisoning an eco-system with drugs flushed down the toilet. It’s not something one thinks about, but truly, the substances that go into the sewage system (and thereby our water systems and eco-systems) can totally affect the animals that live in them. Just earlier this year scientists in the UK discovered that endangered eels in their water were getting high off of cocaine, which regularly finds its way into Britain’s rivers. And last week, it was widely reported across Colorado that dogs in Aspen were getting stoned off their asses eating weed-laced human poop.

If it can happen to eels in England and dogs in Aspen, it can happen to gators in Alabama. And that is not a comforting thing to consider.

So, what can be done to stop the Meth-Gators? Does the Loretto police department really think that by releasing a Facebook statement like the one above, they’re going to make criminals like Andy Perry think twice before flushing meth down the toilet, when cops are knocking at their door?

That doesn’t really seem reasonable.

So, how about this simple solution: decriminalize your drugs, Alabama. If substances weren’t so wildly illegal and stigmatized in this country (and your state in particular) people wouldn’t have a need to buy bad drugs from crazy bastards like Perry. If Perry doesn’t have customers, he doesn’t have a job selling meth, and if he’s out of a job, chances are, he won’t be flushing large quantities of meth into the eco-systems of Alabama.

You want to stop Meth-Gators from becoming a real problem? Stop giving so many fucks about drugs, and about what people put in their own bodies. It’s as easy as that — a win-win-win situation for the state, The People, and the gators of Alabama.