Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories: The good, the bad and the ugly speculation surrounding COVID-19

Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories: The good, the bad and the ugly speculation surrounding COVID-19

Grab your tin-foil hats!

CultureMarch 17, 2020 By Will Brendza

The world has seen pathogens before. Just in our lifetime there’s been the swine flu, Ebola, sars, zika and a few others. But they’ve all fizzled out, or been contained, or stopped somehow before they became a global pandemic; before they started shutting down schools and restaurants, social gatherings, cancelling music and closing ski resorts.

Not the coronavirus, though. This one seemed to explode out of China faster than the others, seemed to grind society to a halt faster than others, and while it wasn’t killing people quite as indiscriminately as ebola, or even Zika, the scenes of ghostly empty streets, vacant shops and bio-hazmat suited military personnel roaming cities like Wuhan, spoke to the grave implications of what was coming.

And now, it’s here. It’s everywhere, in fact, all over the world and still spreading — only getting started really. Entire nations and continents are closing down, global transit is grinding to a halt, fear is palpably in the air.

Of course, so is speculation that this insanely contagious virus is no accident of nature. Conspiracy theories are flying around the internet like the bats we’re told that spread this. Some of these theories are just as crazy as you might imagine – while others, actually make a lot of sense.

So grab your tin-foil hats ladies and gentlemen (and probably one of those respirator masks, too). Things are about to get weird.

The Chinese did it!

Who else are we going to point fingers at first, except the Chinese? The coronavirus started over there, after all.

And, actually, there is some reason to suspect that maybe, just maybe, this was the Chinese releasing it within their own country. Namely: the high-security, secret bio-research laboratory that exists, coincidentally, in Wuhan, where the virus started.

This lab is dedicated to studying BSL-4, the most dangerous and deadly pathogenic diseases known to man. They don’t just study these diseases there, either. No. Nothing is that upfront when it comes to the Chinese government. They also use that lab to develop man-made pathogens for the purposes of biowarfare. (If you want to read more about it, check out this piece I wrote back in January, when COVID-19 was really just starting to erupt in China.)

Okay. Let’s say that the coronavirus came out of that lab. Why would the Chinese do something like that?

There are a number of theories, to answer that question as well.

  1. It was an accident. Shit happens, man. And when it comes to high-contagion diseases, it’s not impossible to imagine the virus somehow slipping through the cracks and out into the world.
  2. It was on purpose, to distract from the Hong Kong protests. Hong Kong protests have been ongoing and building in intensity for almost a year now. Millions of people were in the streets just months ago, fighting against their communist oppressors and making quite a scene on an international scale. People were paying attention, the eyes of the world were upon China and everyone was anxious about the Chinese government’s response to such defiance.

    In the weeks before this virus ground China to a halt, those Hong Kong protests were becoming one of the biggest news stories of 2020. Now, the world seems to have all but forgotten about them (and for that matter, about all the other protests still going on, all around the world).  

    Is it possible the Chinese government released this mildly-deadly, but highly contagious disease just to quash the malcontents of Hong Kong? And to simultaneously give the world a far bigger news story to latch onto, one that would actually physically affect them?

    Possible, for sure. Is it actually what happened? We may never know. But it would almost certainly be considered an international act of war. The real question is: would China be willing to risk being found out for something like that?

    Because the consequences would be apocalyptic.

The Democrats did it!

It is an election year in the US, in case any of you forgot (I wouldn’t blame you, who really gives a shit when there’s a plague on the loose?).

Anyway, this election year is looking ominous for the Democrats. They need to dethrone the Orange Menace and they seem to be ripping themselves apart in the process of trying to. Uncle Joe is climbing to the forefront of their primary race, and Bernie is holding on for dear life. But do either of them, really stand a chance at beating Donald Trump at his own game?

Fearing an inevitable loss, some people out there are speculating that the democratic party, the DNC, have been blowing the whole thing out of proportion. They’ve been stoking the media fires and planting false reports among journalists, to inflate the dangers and the risk level of coronavirus, so that people freak out and Trump looks like a whoopie-cushion.

Except now that the virus has spread to every corner of the globe and celebrities are falling ill, and the entire city of San Francisco has been quarantined like the countries of Italy and China, that seems like an unlikely Machiavellian election year tactic. This virus is not a manifestation of media frenzy. This shit is real and it’s knocking on our doors.

So, take that one with a grain of salt.

Epstein’s powerful “friends”

Jeffery Epstein was tied to some of the most powerful and influential people on the face of this planet, and not in any good way. He was pimpin’ out 12-16 year-olds for his friends in high places, and he was making a killing doing it.

The origin’s of the man’s massive wealth remains a mystery. But he owned the largest single residence in Manhattan, a 10,000 square-acre ranch in New Mexico and an island in the Virgin Isles which he called “Little St. Jeff’s” (and which the local’s called “Pedophile island” or sometimes, “orgy island”).

The people who flew around the world with him, who attended “parties” at his island, and otherwise associated with him were people most of us only read about or see on TV: Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Prince Andrew, Kevin Spacey, and many, many others. Some believe that he was actually working for the CIA and/or Mossad as a black-mail-gathering intelligence operative.

When Epstein was busted and sent to jail for child sex trafficking, he became a liability for the people who he could implicate. Then he died. In a jail cell. “Hung himself” they told us. No video. Guards were asleep and/or online shopping. Jeff, that crafty bastard, somehow strung himself up with some linens after just getting off suicide watch.

Problem solved: liability neutralized. Right?

Wrong. People didn’t believe it for a second and Epstein’s death actually garnered more attention than he or his crimes ever had in life.  Journalists started digging, internet sleuths started sleuthing, pictures kept rising up from the depths of the Web of Epstein and his partner in crime Gihlsane Maxwell at parties with the likes of Harvey Winestein, Mark Bloomberg and many others. The fires seemed to still be hot under this story and the powerful people involved have surely been feeling the heat.

Could it be, that one of the illuminati members who was implicated among the many others with Jeffery Espstein, got their hands on this coronavirus and released it in China? To distract the world from the story of Jeffery Epstein? To cover their asses, and kick dirt on this insane conspiracy?

That’s a heavy thought.

Charmin’s ultra-plan

We all saw what happened in the grocery and convenience stores when COVID started getting serious: they were raided by fanatic people, hell-bent on stocking up on toilet paper. For some reason.

There were some stories that came out of this outbreak in the early days, of Chinese people trapped inside their homes, unable to leave, who ran out of toilet paper and were stuck for weeks without anything to wipe with. Certainly, it’s a dark thing to picture. And it traumatized people around the world so badly, they decided to go spend their entire last month’s pay on toilet paper. They looted every store in America and now there’s a national shortage of TP.

And you know who is cashing in on all that insanity? You know who is benefitting from everyone else’s madness?

That’s right. The toilet paper companies. Charmin.

Maybe those crafty sonsofbitches engineered this virus in their secret toilet laboratories, and released it in China, knowing full well that when it got to the US, they’d suddenly be rich as kings.


The list wouldn’t be complete without touching on aliens. Which of course, many people are blaming coronavirus for — though, in some very creative ways:

  1. The coronavirus is an alien invader, and we don’t even realize it. Who said aliens have to be human-sized?
  2. The Chinese government, or the US government, or the World Order released it because aliens are coming. Maybe something big is happening right now with UFO’s, but, none of us are going to know about it because the whole world has been ordered to self-isolate in doors. You can’t look up at the sky when you’re in quarantine…
  3. Or, alternatively, maybe some government released this virus as a global defense system. Perhaps they knew that the coronavirus with such a low mortality rate wouldn’t bring mankind to its knees, but was just enough to be 100% deadly to any extra-terrestrial beings. Remember how War of the Worlds ended?

Whatever the origin of Coronavirus, whether it was a natural accident or something more nefarious, it’s getting bad out there, and it’s likely going to get worse as the days go on. Stay healthy out there, dear Rooster readers. These are strange times, indeed. Take care of your selves…