Dear Ibby, The girl I’m hooking up with is a man-hating mega-feminist who really believes I’m inferior to her. Thing is, I’m really turned on by how pathetic she makes me feel. What’s wrong with me?

Dear Ibby, The girl I’m hooking up with is a man-hating mega-feminist who really believes I’m inferior to her. Thing is, I’m really turned on by how pathetic she makes me feel. What’s wrong with me?

SexJanuary 05, 2016 By Isabelle Kohn

Nothing is wrong with you, you pitiful man-child. One of the most interesting aspects of human sexuality is that we like to fuck people who are opposite from us, who make us feel degraded, or both. We like the feeling of risk, danger and transgression we get when we do something “wrong,” like sleep with someone whose ideals objectify or shame us. Many people’s fantasies stem from that feeling of vulnerability or degradation, and I say that's great as long as everything's consensual.

However, it sounds like part of the fantasy for you isn’t just that she’s a feminist, but that she’s humiliating you and your silly dick. Humiliation is a fairly common control technique in BDSM (more the D&S part though), which makes me think that your fantasy has a control aspect to it as well. With her, she's in control, you're not, and there's' nothing you can do about it. That's totally fine and healthy as long as you’re into it.

The only distinction I’d suggest you make is that while you enjoy being made to feel inferior in a sexual setting, don’t let that spill over into your non-sex life. If you do this man-hating-feminist-fucking-you-senseless thing right, her humiliating you and diminishing your masculinity should make you feel confident, or at the very least, happy because you’re getting the kind of sex you crave.

Hopefully she unleashes her aggressive misandry on you strategically and with the intent to assert respectful dominance, as opposed to just straight up make you feel bad about yourself. Huge difference there.

Also, props to her for having the balls (boobs?) to unleash this on you. She seems to have tapped into a previously unconscious kink of yours, and is opening you up to an interesting, non-vanilla world that not everyone is lucky enough to see.

Proceed as long as the sex and the relationship makes you feel good about yourself. I hope that doesn’t deflate your stupid boner.